Advice please :(

@ruekath

Hey there, hopefully you are doing well. There's a few things I would like to point out;

Hello everyone.. so I suffer with anxiety and depression (was diagnosed in April this year) I have been put in anxiety pills, quite strong dosage, and yet I find myself slipping back to my old ways. (I understand what you are saying here, i felt the same way when I was taking them. The anxiety pills actually do about 10% of the work while the rest has to be done with therapy, which could be why the anxiety keeps coming back) I am constantly anxious, feeling so insecure and constantly compare myself to other girls/people in general. (It sounds like you are having a hard time with this, and from the looks of it is affecting how you are as a person. I believe this has to do with feeling empty inside, which makes you want to have what other girl/people have because you seemed how popular they are or that they have something you wish to have. I do believe you were probably often compared to other siblings while growing up which could be why you have the need to do this) I am constantly worrying about what everyone thinks of me (This can be quite scary experience because of the amount of anxiety it brings. I believe this is a sign you were often criticized, judged, perhaps love was withdraw from you if you didn't say or do, or perhaps having family members who constantly criticized others. There's a chance you might behave in a pleaser way) and now its causing a problem with my boyfriend. We have been together almost a year and he is away in the Navy a lot. I find myself constantly looking at Instagram models online as he follows a lot of them, (I can see you might have a hard time with certain aspects about your life, which makes you want to become like those models because you want to feel loved like them. This could be making you feel like "Well if he is following those models then it means he prefer those kind of women than me". I can also sense a lot of anxiety in constantly checking what he follows) and I am constantly paranoid that he would be far happier with one of these perfect girls than me. (I can relate how this feels because these are feelings that i have experienced in the past. You seems to not feeling good enough, and the anxiety is perhaps making you feel like you will be abandoned.) I speak to him about my worries (You did great in communicating this, its what communication should be about) but he just brushes them off and says I am being silly (He is being dismissive here, not taking the time to understand how you feel and not providing the reassurance you need) but to me this is all very real. (It is very real, a lot of people also go through this)I am due to start counselling at the beginning of December but please can someone just give me some advice on how to feel normal (You are normal, its just the attachment trauma and the traumatic experiences you experienced as a child are the main reason for the way you feel) or to control these thoughts and worries as theyre eating away at me now and I cant deal with it anymore. (I believe the most important things is being able to feel it (which it will be uncomfortable, but it won't have the same power) and being able to take a closer look at your childhood to see what made you feel a certain way) Its so unhealthy and I dont want to lose my relationship because of my stupid anxiety and lack of self worth/confidence. (I can tell he doesn't know how to soothe you when your anxiety kicks in, it would have help a lot if he took the time to reassure that everything is fine and that he loves you. You probably have a lot of good qualities, however you might have the tendency to focus on the negative aspects of your personality which can often make you want to appear or behave like other women on order to fill the emptiness.)Please please help x

@ruekath

Hello, your husband is right, you are silly 😊 in a good way. You should not worry and he loves you. Comparing yourself to others is a deteriorating bad tging...

Trust medication (it workd on long term so have patience) you can always request a change of medication.

Hugsiez🤗 and be well!

@ruekath

Don't worry, a lot of people compare themselves to others all the time now in our modern society. I do it as well. I used to be like that in my last relationship. I had a lot of worries and it drove me mad. My mood would be all over. I used to be on antidepressants but over time I found them to make me worse than help me. Just remember that meds aren't a cure, a lot of it is about wanting to help yourself too. What I find that helps is journalling and writing down everything I think and feel. It really does help. Just remember you are not alone with what you are feeling. It takes time to overcome these challenges we face in life.