Again (trigger, school shooting)

Once again, there was another school shooting. My head hurts, my heart aches, and I have to say again.

The anxiety kicks in hard core. I'm living in a state of fear. Many of us have children that everyday they attend school. It sickens me that I cannot wait until my daughter is back home.

I drop her off in the morning (when I have a day off). Give her a big squeeze. Kiss on tbe forehead at her request. Go on about my business however, I'm terrified that any day this could happen.

The rational part of my brain knows not to go there. Not to play this mind game. I'm there, it's real. It's awful. Today, I feel physical sick.

I'm unsure about where to go with this. I tell myself her school is safe. You have to be buzzed in, the cops hang out there. In our town they do neighborhood policing. One of the houses is right down the road. The children know the neighborhood officers. I tell myself the teachers and staff at her school are more then qualified. Her school is smaller but has k-8. (chater school). Yet, I cannot turn this off in my head. It looks on and on.

I know this is long. Thanks for sticking it out. :)