Am I doing the right thing as a parent moving?
Hey there...
I'm a divorced mother of a six year old boy. His father and I currently live in the same town and have joint custody.
I've always wanted to move to a larger, more diverse community with better career opportunities... Right now it's a struggle as a single parent to scrape by and make ends meat. It's a town where everyone knows me and everyone knows your business. I quite literally feel trapped in a hole here... And my depression has eaten me up.
After a year or more of contemplating I decided to do what I believe is best for me and that is to move. I recently accepted a better paying job in a town a love. However, it's 2.5 hours away and I won't be moved down there by the time the new school year starts... After a lot of thinking my ex and I both decided it was best for our son that he continue his schooling here for this year. He would get our son Monday-Friday and proposed every other weekend.. which I'm still not 100% comfortable with.
Anyway...I'm just really struggling with the thought of "is this worth it?" "Am I doing the right thing?" He's literally all I have, I don't have family near by or a significant other. It's always just been the two of us and it rips me apart to think I'll have to see him less...
@AdrenalizedChaos
As a mom, every we choice we make in life is for our children, and most of them are hard.
Positives:
- You've got a new job in a town you like.
- You're only going to be 2 1/2 hours away.
- It sounds like things aren't too terrible with your ex, because you're able to discuss this with him and work out a parenting plan (make sure to file this with the courts, if you already have a formal custody plan in place)
- Your son is young and very resilient. If you moved him to a new school in the middle of the school year, he'd be okay. (We always look at switching schools from our own perspective rather than our child's, and it seems like we always make it negative.)
Negatives
- You're going to be 2 1/2 hours away and you won't get to see you're son as much.
Try things out. See how it all feels. Make your son a part of all of this move. Even at 6, he can be part of the process. I don't know if you have found a new place, but if not, you can find a couple of places and then show them to him. "This one has a nice big bedroom for you, and this one has a big yard. Which do you like?" Of course, you're making the decisions, but bringing him into it, even in this small way, will make him feel like he's all part of the process. He'll know that you're not leaving him behind - that everything you're doing is totally so that he can come and be with you, too.
I'm always a fan of including kids in things like this, so that they feel they have some power and aren't left out. Even if it's "what color would you like your new room painted" - it's something that show's that they are valued and aren't being overlooked.
And nothing is permanent - if this situation doesn't work out - change it. :) You'll do great!