Am I the problem?
Relationships are hard. Whether it's romantic or professional, familial or friendly... I find that I have what I would consider low expectations when it comes to what I want out of my relationships with people...and when I make it known that those expectations aren't being met (which in and of itself is an agonizing process of even convincing myself it's OK to say.) I feel like I am a nagging, or being unreasonable, or asking too much. Outside the moment it seems so obvious. I want common courtesy and consideration, something I do my beat to offer others. But in the moment when I address my needs and feelings I question everything I say and think and feel. Is it even ok for me to expect this of someone? Am I making them feel worse about themselves? Do they think I'm overbearing? I end up backtracking and feeling like I need to apologize for making my feelings known. I think I gaslight myself at this point. I never know if I'm truly hurt or just self sabotaging.
Hello there!
I hear you! I want to let you know that it's okay to say when your expectations aren't met. Even if it's agonizing to believe it, you do deserve to be treated with care. You're not nagging or being unreasonable for asking for good treatment or what you need! You're not asking for too much by asking for courtesy and consideration. You're absolutely deserving of being given those and more, just like any other person you offer those to deserves! I can see your struggles to believe that but let me tell you my friend, you deserve it. Nothing is too good for you. 💜
I so so so feel you. Every step I take is being doubted about. Did I say the right thing. Have I been stampeding once again... Did I communicate my anxiety way to much again? Have I been to hard about telling a person what my needs are?
To the point I’ve actually been sabotaging more than one relationship, because they could not deal with it anymore. Or I would hurt them to much with my ever pressent social anxiety. That I had to step away or out of relationships.
I do how ever also believe that which the other commenter posted. That eventhough you are anxious. It’s also not alright if someone doesn’t respect your needs. Especially if it took you so much effort to get to say it.
Hope that helps a little ;).
