Angry at myself
My anxiety tends to make me overthink a lot not only about myself but about my relationship. She is extremely patient and understanding and I hold myself accountable but the fact that I have these anxieties hurt me because she’s an amazing girlfriend to me.
I'm in a similar situation, she is and has been more than patient with me when I know that she could have left me so many times and I wouldn't blame her.. but I would hate myself even more than I do right now. There was a time when I used to be able to control myself, control my anxiety and worries but today it is almost like I don't recognise myself anymore. The only thing that helps me in these moments is keeping my mind busy or smoking weed but what I do find that helps is to take note of when the anxiety starts and find a way to distract my mind, for me that is usually meditating - but if the noise is too loud in my mind I play video games or work on the computer.