Anxiety....
To me anxiety makes me... Well a completely different person. Crazy... and like I'm Suffocating... and to cope I need to be alone and focus. Then there's the depression.... So I'm a complete mess... Usually I focus on how I'm feeling which doesn't help at all... I have 5 children... 1 in heaven and i feel like I'll never get past this pain. Yes I have 4 other beautiful babies, and they definitely keep me going and on my toes... I still have a hole. And I write to him every day because. I know he's with me and hears or maybe he even see's my journal... Two and a half months old... Would be 3 now... And it's not subsiding at all... Miss you my 👼... Mama loves you..
@Supertired1216
Thank you for sharing your story.
Grieving doesn't end imo and some people grieve longer and harder than others- no two people are alike, even in grieving and coping. Some reside in certain phases longer than others - like the sadness. You aren't just grieving the loss of a child but also a dream, aspirations, goals - a life that could have been.
The time you take to continue to honor your child is remarkable. Be sure to share your child's story with the siblings. My grandfather's family lost a small infant at an early age and it was many years on that the discussion was reopened when surveys of the family plot occurred - we didn't know much about the baby they lost, how, when, why or even a name and we still grieved the memory of what little we had that far down the road (70+ years). We did want to make sure it wouldn't be forgotten again, so we placed a small marker with last name and continue to speak of it.
You are an amazingly strong mum. You are coping with a lot. When you are ready to move to the next step of grieving, you will - that energy and power is there along with several little inspirations that will help you learn to enjoy every little thing about life.
