Anxiety and Food (buying & consuming)
I can't tell where I am currently emotional state wise, I can say that I'm proud of my accomplishments in the last while, but I can't shake the anxiety and fears that are currently invading my head space.
I bought food recently and even a few items today, however where this thought is confusing is that, I opened my Doritos bag earlier and ate only eight (8) chips before an overwhelming sadness and guilt came over me (not for eating the Doritos, but eating in itself).
So I've been pacing my apartment, talking to myself in tears (for part of it), backwards and forwards from my kitchen, fighting this want to harm myself and lose my current "awesome" streak, which I posted about earlier but, I digress, I feel so ashamed, guilty and honestly a big fear that I'm eating to much, spending to, for that matter, even if everything seems within acceptable amounts.
I'm currently shaking as I write this because I want to eat, but don't feel hungry because of this anxiety. I usually am good with distractions and the coping strategies to calm myself but this is beginning to happen with more frequency. I'm starting to go days without eating and don't want it to continue this way.
Hi there. Honestly, I know absolutely nothing about this type of anxiety about eating. The only thing that comes to mind is, you could try mindful eating. I wish I could help you, but I really can't do anything other than responding in the hopes you'll read this and feel less alone.
Is there anyone near you that could help?
@Cheeney
Thank you for your reply, I have heard of mindful eating and am going to enquire about it later today as my program day is today, it's something that has been with me for over 25 years and I am looking at all avenues to tackle the deeply rooted issues (one by one) as I go through this juncture of my life "reclaiming" I like to call it.
@InkStainedFingers That's good! No one is, to put it bluntly, broken beyond repair. We can always reclaim control over our lives. It's a matter of figuring out what works best for you and not giving up, especially on the hard days. Your dedication to getting better tells me you have the strength to get through this.
