Anxiety at home
I’m new here I’m a freshman in college and I am staying home this semester because of covid. I love my family but the environment here is very toxic and it feels suffocating waking up every morning or coming back home after a walk. My mom has kinda lost it this year and she’s been taking her frustration out on my whole family but more often me. I missed my graduation, my prom, my senior trip, and a BTS concert I’ve waited all year to go to. And and all my mom talks about is how everyone around is going out partying while we’re the only one being stuck at home. She’s saying every day she’s dying inside and I try to get her to understand I feel the same and she goes on about how no one will suffer as much as she does how much she hates all of us how much she wishes she never got married and what a waste of a child I am. I live in a house full of people but I feel so alone. I’m not allowed to project my feelings or else I’m called a brat. When it comes to my dad he’s more stern he doesn’t understand emotions and all he tells me I need to learn how to manage my stress and keep my grades up. That’s all that matter so him. I have panic attacks more and more frequently these days it doesn’t help that my new kitten recently had to have surgery and my parents are saying it’s my responsibility to deal with it. Along with all of this it’s hard to keep up with classes online and deal with all of this. Not to mention that not to long ago my grandpa passed away right infront of us in our house and a month later my grandma (his wife who also lives with us) broke her arm. This is all so much too much. I get called lazy but I know I either have depression or anxiety. My parents don’t believe me. I’m just so tired
@Armytinystay19 Thank you so much for reaching out and joining our community! I'm sorry your parents aren't supportive and don't believe that you're struggling with depression or anxiety. Not having support from parents can make your struggles so much harder. You're entering a supportive community, there's always someone here to talk with if you need! I know missing out on so many events like graduation and a concert you were looking forward to really let you down. That must have been super hard to come to terms with. Let us know if we can do anything to help support you!
I’m sorry to hear that you are struggling! It must be so overwhelming to have seen you grandpa pass away! When my anxiety starts getting high, I use a technique called grounding! It brings your mind back to the present using your 5 senses! They are really easy exercises that can be done virtually anywhere! If you want some more info don’t hesitate to message me! You are not alone! We are here for you!
I understand you, my case is similar to yours, I have a little dog, they tell me that everything she does is my responsibility but there is never a moment to ask how you are today, I can never express my feelings, a human being is made to make mistakes and learn from them, these are things that parents will never understand because they want us to be perfect and not make mistakes.
@Armytinystay19 hi. Your really courageous to share your experiences here. I’m so sorry you’re going through all of this and it's a lot on your. It sounds like you’re feeling trapped in a place where you should feel safe, and that must be really exhausting and lonely. You’ve missed the chances of attending your graduation, prom, your concert—things you were looking forward to, and added you’re dealing with so much pressure at home. That’s a lot for one person to carry, and it’s truly understandable that you feel overwhelmed.
@Armytinystay19 I understand how hard it must be for you given you're in college and you have to stay in your family when the environment is toxic. It really sucks when your parents are not cooperative with you and emotionally unavailable. I can also see how that might make you feel alone in a house full of people. I want you to know your feelings are completely valid, I have been going through a similar situation at my home. It takes a lot of strength to reach out and I am proud of you for doing it. You can text me anytime, I will surely listen to you if you want to vent or talk about it.