Anxiety is in control

I've had lots of anxiety since I was 10 They gave me a bunch of ssri meds. None of them helped just made things worse. I was always anxious like that feeling when your late. The constant thinking about everything. Fast forward to college I tried a few choice drugs like weed to help and I tried a new anti depressant pill. It ended up inducing bad panic attack like all night long. I have to constantly be moving wether it's my leg or my hands. Since then I've always had these panic attacks and constant feeling of anxiety. When I'm in relationships being with the girl is like a bandaid but when they leave my anxiety goes out of control. I know what I should do but my anxiety makes me try to solve the problem and I end up pushing the girl to hate me by me constantly talking. I also feel horrible like in my head I'm experiencing all the bad breakup and events in my life not just the one breakup. Every emotion and thought is always running through my head it's 24/7 anxiety, I feel like my body is about to explode with emotion which cause me body twitches. I have bad panic for no reason, I cry for no reason . My body also freezes up like I can't move I just stand or sit there. Eventually my body twitches and I snap out of it. Dreams are no relief I I have. Nightmares or dreams about my ex and short upright in pure panic only getting like 4-5 hours of sleep. I just feel like I have no control of my body or mind. I'm trying a new med called lamictal cuz I'm struggling real bad