Anxious and Pretending to be O.K.
Hi, I've never posted on here before. I feel very anxious almost all the time, and I have a really hard time with ADHD which makes the anxiety worse. I discovered a week ago that I was only pretending to be okay, and the sadness and depression I felt for over 10 years never really went away. I feel worthless, even though I'm pretty sure I'm not. I feel like I have done nothing right or well ever. I think i need to talk to people about it and so I am reaching out on here.
I am glad that something like this exists and I wish I had discovered it sooner
@drrZeuss
Hello and welcome! 7 Cups is a great place to talk things out. It's not a substitute for medical professionals, but I think it's a good starting place to at least find some support, especially at those times when you feel like no one is listening. What's making you feel so anxious?
@thoughtfulmomma thank you. I know its not a substitute but I am simply not quite ready to take that next step. I am anxious about money being tight, and I am anxious with constant worry that I am letting everyone down as much as I am letting myself down. Im always anxious when I can't concentrate and when I do concentrate im anxious because I feel like I should be focusing on something else or that I forvot something. If I have nothing to distract me I am always on the verge of panic attacks over existential issues and im always ALWAYS analyzing myself and my decisions and my personality attributes and habits in a "you did this because you feel that and not for the reason you thought you did, and that was wrong" kind of way
Hi I was also feeling same always analyzing and planning on How to do every thing
how to make money
how to be happy
how to sort out etc
then I came to know that we need to change to what I am
so I started saying
I am good in decision making
i am a good person
I am able to find a solution
basically brought out all the goodness which I was
I took it out and enlarged it
Which couldn’t come out due to my anxiety worry doubt and fear
@practicalWater2390 thank you for your sympathy. Im glad you found a way to grow the goodness in you. I suppose my problem is (when I say things like that to myself) that I don't believe it :( I will try this though, ill try more stubbornly to convince myself that I am good, that I am all of me and not just the bad in me. I dont believe it though 😩
@drrZeuss , I get it , and what was said about thinking posativly and turning around your thoughts does work to help sooth the feeling , however it is a fight to get there , I fight it a lot , sometimes I win , and I try to keep that metality , no one is worthless , we feel this way because of our imperfections , a chemical imbalance that we inherited , it sucks I know this feeling these "demons" that we fight in our head , its extremly tiering , and we think why bother , we have to bother , I know easier said then done, try this , it may help ,,, when you are feeling down , feeling the way you do , find something good that you can do for someone , send them a card , bake them some cookies , or grill up some ribs for someone, its not going to be a lasting feeling of relief , but the struggle to get to that point and seeing the appreciaition on that person or persons faces will make you smile. Repeat ... Repeat ,,, we can not let the "demons" in our head overcome us . We are not worthless, its our mindset ,,,, there is a free website that I found to be quite helpful , if you want to check it out it is your choice, there are articles about suffering , anxiety , and even a hope for you and me and everyone else , this is a hope that all of these feeling will be done away with , its a promise that will come in the near future . please tale a look , JW.ORG is the free website , and I promise that you will find an abundance of encouragment to help you , it helps me , its still a fight , however I have something to fall on even if its a struggle to get that encouragment,
@drrZeuss
It sounds like it might be helpful for you to write your steps out - kind of give yourself a plan of action when doing things. I know when I get overwhelmed, I completely forget to do things. And that frustrates the heck out of me because I don't want to forget things, because a lot of the time people are relying on me to remember and to get things done.
So - I like lists. I keep a notebook near me and I write down everything I want to do or have to do. It is so helpful having it written down instead of trying to keep it all in my head. I feel better, and I actually get a lot more accomplished. Sure, there are a lot of people who say "why can't you just remember that?" Well, I have so many things in my brain, and I have so many things I'm juggling, doing, thinking about, that I just can't remember. And there's nothing wrong about writing things down to get a little bit of control over things. It does take the anxiety of forgetfulness away, and when that is gone, it's easier to get things accomplished.
@thoughtfulmomma thanks, ill try that. I've always been scared of the disappointment of not finishing the list or still forgetting things. I suppose that's stupid, because I already feel those things. Thank you, I hope this helps a bunch. I'm really grateful for you and everyone else who takes the time to read what people are going through and to give advice. The feeling that comes from the knowledge that someone cares at all is tremendous.
@drrZeuss
I hope it helps - even if it's a starting point to get on a good path where you can be a little more organized and a little more forgiving of yourself.
As they say "you are your worst enemy" & it is hard not to be when u are around yourself all the time things can really get to you. I have days like this too. Just everything goes wrong. I try to help someone & end up making a mess, or I lend a ear to a friend & my advice ends up being the worst advice & then its all my fault. You gotta get your mind out of that pattern of being so down on yourself. Everyone makes mistakes
@MsCannaBass I get that. I have a problem with forgiveness. And the one im hardest on is myself
Hello, i myself had a very hard time with anxiety, panic attacks, abandonment issues.
Done therapy, treatment, and it's been a long time. I improved a lot, but I still have things to work with.
The main thing is to not oppose it, try and accept it, as a hurt part of yourself, an inner child that has went thru some stuff and now is mostly acting from a place filled with fear.
Try offering compassion to that part of yourself, understand it why it does it, don't judge it. I know it's hard, mostly in the beginning, to see the positive, to accept yourself, see the good parts of yourself, let yourself live and enjoy stuff in life. But it's possible with time and some self work, and it feels great when you start noticing the changes, when you start smiling more each day. When you start giving yourself compliments instead of beating yourself every time.
Meditation also helps a lot to train how to stop your mind once in a while, it's very relaxing. I often practice it at night when I can't sleep because my mind is too active or when I'm too anxious to calm down and sleep.
There are also books about coping with your inner child you could read, they give you exercises to help understand it and manage it.
I know it sounds very hard, but it's possible, and worth it. You can do it. You can gain control of your thoughts and emotions. Start investing time in yourself.
Hope you find something helpull here.