Bad Anxiety Day
I hope this is the right place for this but I'm having a bad anxiety day and no one to talk to about it. It always helps to get it off my chest but I tend to overwhelmed everyone when I do. A little background, I'm 23 and have been dealing with anxiety my whole life, I've learned to manage it some but it's still a work in progress. The only person I really have to talk to about my anxieties is my boyfriend of 5 years now and of course sometimes it gets to be too much for him and I understand that completely. Honestly today is just a whole mix of general anxiety. I don't know I feel like I'm going to sound really selfish but it's so hard keeping my anxiety under control. So one of my boyfriends little brother's close friends just passed away and I'm trying my best to support my boyfriend and his family right now by helping in anyway I can. The thing that sucks is my birthday is in 2 days and I told my parents I don't want to celebrate it until after the wake/funeral and they weren't as understanding. I think I was able to get them to hold off but I'm going to feel so horrible getting all the happy birthday messages while my boyfriends family is grieving. On top of this I have a million things I have to get done before I move in a few weeks to live closer to my university and having to put this on hold to help my boyfriends family is leaving me feeling extremely overwhelmed. I feel so selfish and awful for feeling this way because someone just passed away but it's like my anxiety takes the reigns and I just kind of have to follow it. I'm trying so hard to keep it together and keep these feelings under control but I just feel so selfish and guilty for having them at all. I don't know is there anyway I can manage this situation and my feelings better because I just feel all kinds of awful right now.
@KaleighSkys I can understand where you're coming from even though I haven't experienced quite the same thing. I always feel better after I talk my feelings over too. I'm around a similar age and I have been dealing with anxiety for a few years now. Anxiety is an awful, nearly uncontrollable feeling. Yes, there are ways to cope with anxiety but they don't always work when you need them to.
This situation is absolutely terrible. I just moved into a new apartment near my college and the process of moving was stressful in and of itself so I can see where you're coming from. Additionally, your parents not fully understanding you is uncomfortable, bring in the fact that your biggest supporter as it sounds like (your boyfriend) is going through his own pain. Also, I am so sorry for the grief your boyfriend and his family are experiencing.
However, that doesn't make your feelings any less valid. It isn't healthy to compare pain/stress, believing that your own is less justified because someone else is experiencing something bad. People experience emotions differently. It's okay to feel the way you do. But it is not selfish. Sometimes we have to realize that we need to give ourselves as much care and consideration that we give others. Although it is easier said than done, you're not alone.
Try to focus on things that calm you or even give you joy. Journaling is also a great way to get your feelings out when you don't have someone you can talk to directly. Plus, there are forums like this one where people will listen and reassure you.
You can get past this and keep moving forward.