Dealing with anxiety and guilt

Hello, first post here. I’m 21F and due to recent events I feel like my anxiety has been almost unmanageable. I’m Asian, mostly Vietnamese but it doesn’t really make a difference to an average person I guess. We apparently all look the same. A day or two ago several Asians were killed in cold blood and it terrifies me. Some of them were Vietnamese. I’ve read of hateful events taking place in my city as well which makes me feel even worse. I can’t work, I can’t sleep and I’ve lost appetite. I know I shouldn’t be going out in a pandemic but I promised a friend I’d buy them frozen yogurt, and just walking to the store from my car made me feel sick. More importantly, I wonder if this is what it was like for my black friends during BLM? I feel so awful and I can’t imagine what they were going through, I want to reach out but I’m scared. I feel pathetic for not doing more to support them all these years. In 2016 I was so devoted to the cause, but now I’ve just lost all drive. And now knowing that it’s happening to me makes me feel like a monster, like I’ve been willingly ignorant. I want to become a better person, and I want to deal with this anxiety but it just feels so difficult. Sorry for the long post, thank you if you’ve read this far.