Fear of abandonment and friends
Hi, I'm a bit new to this. I have anxieties about fear of abandonment. I've always struggled with keeping relationships because I feel pushed away or I am the one pushing away. It had got worse after an old group of friends in college ghosted me. This was over the span of months of ignoring messages, physically avoiding me. It left me feeling so worthless, and lonely I never wanted to get close to anyone.
And I know it doesn't seem like a big deal, but I haven't been able to keep friends since. It had happened before I got to college too. I had hopes in college it would be different, but it crushed me more than anything.
I made a few friends over my last few years of college, and I am starting to feel like they're pushing away. We were roommates and we got so close. I spent most of my time with them as I finished college. I felt so confortable with them and we shared a lot together. I moved away after college. I know things will change, since I won't see them often. It went from a call every other day to a call once a week, and now it's been more than two. I feel like I'm the only one reaching out with no response. I can't help to feel they'll leave me too.
Hey! I actually completely understand what you mean. I’ve been in this situation for years, and I was sure I would never have friends. I also have a pretty hard time letting go of past friendships. I wanna give you a message of hope here: after years suffering and feeling alone, I met THE BEST people in the world, and now I have more true friends than I ever thought I would ever have. Your time will come and you will find your people out there 😊
Can you share the best way to keep feelings at bay and to feel secure and strong while in the search for a real friend? Been living for like what seems forever looking back at realizing not having a real friend who I can talk to, who would still be there inspite of changes.. also in a very lonely marriage and nobody to talk to or enjoy little moments with… nobody asks me how I am unless I ask first.. even my family, even my oldest friends who I considered my best friends…my kids are the only bright spot on my life right now, but sometimes I even feel like giving up
