Feeling dependant on people for emotional needs
I have started to feel like am depending on external influences for me to be happy specially from my partner. I feel i need for her to reassure me to feel happy. I want to get out of this phase not depending on this. It wasnt like this earlier but this is happening recently.
@limeSugar3022
if this is a recent development what changed...... ?
were you able to be happy on your own before ? i think many people go through cycles where we seek reinforcement of our feelings for others maybe when we question if we were truley happy when we were dependent on ourselves to measure it.
It is a recent development. I was happy earlier and it’s not that am not happy now but i have started noticing like a small reply from my partner makes me happier or even no reply from my partner makes me feel low. I even tried to talk to my partner but my partner thinks am complaining too much and being selfish.
@limeSugar3022
In my opinion that is perfectly natural .... i have days that a small good morning or some response from a loved one lifts me up...................... days when i could use a simple "smile i am thinking of you" but i get no response or affirmation .......... i feel out of sorts......
I do not think you are selfish or complaining .... some day the situation can and will be reversed on them.
I don’t want them to go through the same ofcourse not but yes i agree sometimes it helps me when i get a text saying missing you or get a call saying lets video call. Which i used to get but recently i stopped getting those. Hardly i am asked about my day and most of the time if i ask them about theirs only 2/10 times will they ask me back. So i feel bad. I dont want to beg or force someone to show me affection either.
@limeSugar3022
i understand and no we should not have to ask for a simple gesture of asking about our day etc.
This type of thing is a item that can lead to someone seeking out or finding attention from another source........i know my partner is same way and frankly i just quit texting first or responding in a meaningful way. not a big fan of the love languages theory but if this is an item you need and you have spoke of it their dismissal of that is selfish IMO
Okay. Just wanting to know as you said your partner is the same and you stopped texting first, did it impact your relationship or like is there any change in your partner’s behaviour. ?
i think i tried to accpt too much from partner and did not not just ask but expect mutual respect......
i recently took a trip by myself and did not text or anything ...... the response i got first was shock then a very inquisitive texts with tons of questions ........ which i did not answer or did one word items ( their classic move) back to them ..........they know the ball is in their court and i am no longer carrying the bulk or conversations or excusing their lack of response........ it is working NOW but for how long i could not tell you ........ many people IMO do not adjust or change from words or conversation actions told my partner i can move on .
