Halloween Guilt
Happy Halloween everyone! So first off, as much as I love Halloween, I don't feel up and active about going trick or treating with my niece's and her parents like I've done every year. Because I missed my medications yesterday due to not being home and I didn't bring them, I've been in a very touchy and agitated mood today, which I know I'm going to regret later. I went to a small Halloween party at my boyfriend's house last Saturday and my mother told me "you'd go to your boyfriend's Halloween party, but you won't go trick or treating with your niece's?" She at least said that that's what my sister would say. I'm tired of always feeling guilty for saying "no." I'm always put on a guilt trip. I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years and shouldn't have to feel guilty about going to his party and missing Halloween. I feel so down today and would just like to miss one year without feeling bad about it.
@ccaro09
Hi, Im just a member but can empathise with what you are going through as I suffer with being a people pleaser. You absolutely do not have to feel guilty and should not feel forced to do something you don't want / unable to do. You should feel proud of yourself for attending the one event that you are given how you are feeling because of your medicines. You are actually invoking self care by not going in order to protect your relationship with your sister and nieces. There is only so much you can physically do at any one time. It could be that there may be more behind your mothers statement, I.e potential dig at your partner choice maybe ?, I don't know, as I said I'm not an expert, and don't know your situation, but you have to look after you before you can look after anyone else, it's like the life guard who puts the rescued person between the rock and himself because if he got hit by the rock they would both drown. Maybe a listener could help ?, I hope you are able to resolve and get the peace of mind to push through. Take care.
@Mtude Hello Mtude- I think you were a great help here- you don't have to be a trained "listener" to offer an ear and support.
I'm "just a listener" too- and I take part in the forum occasionally - and try to send love, encouragement, maybe a helpful hint and non-judgement - you did that too. We are all important to each other here. Keep it up!
@MusicCandy Thank you so much for your help. You really have given me wonderful advice and I will take it whole heartedly. You are a great listener. :)
I meant that for @Mtude. Sorry! I appreciate youre support as well, @MusicCandy!
@ccaro09
Thankyou!, as I said I'm just another member but we all have life experiences and always remember you never need to feel alone unless that is your preferred choice of course but you will find kindness, non-judgemental support and compassion on 7 cups whenever you feel you need it. We're all here to support each other and hopefully make the world a bit better or at least be able to give some peace of mind so you can cope or at least take the edge off your pain to help you on your life journey. 😊. Take care, sending you a virtual microwave heat pack and hot chocolate ! - be kind to you 😊
@ccaro09 There's no reason that you should feel bad about it. If you're not up for it, you're just not up for it. You have every right to take care of yourself, and if that means saying no to something, then fine. Your family needs to understand that you can't just do everything they want you to. You are a person with your own wants and needs, and their wants are not more important than your needs.
I hope that you feel better soon. <3
@sporkchop thank you! I appreciate your encouragement and support :)
@ccaro09
I keep hearing the reminder "'No.' is a complete sentence" and it's very very true!
I don't think mising one year is a crime.
@Tomboyktm I saw that quote today and I'm reading it again now so I know it's what I need to do. Thank you for your support and help! :)
@ccaro09
Ohhhh i'm sorry you're feeling this way right now. It really doesn't feel good to be guilt tripped. It sounds like you could use a lot of understanding from those people that don't understand or not know what you're going through. It really is painful to hear that you were told such thing. hang in there...!