How Happiness is Related to Others
It bothers me that when someone in my life is in a bad mood, I absorb all of that bad mood, and then I'm stressed, anxious and feel bad. It bothers me when someone in my life is upset with me because I didn't react in a way they wanted or were expecting from me. Then I get upset and it ruins my day, makes me anxious, stressed.
That's really frustrating for me, and I just don't know how to not take it all personally. I don't know how to prevent someone else's negative feeling from creeping inside and bringing me down or stressing me out. It's almost like I wish I could be angry, because then I could just deflect the bad - but I can't be. I just don't want to feel the stress because I didn't do "the right" thing (whatever that may or may not be) for someone else.
@thoughtfulmomma
I feel most fortunate to have come across your post today! Many thanks for creating it! 
I don't know if anyone will come by and have something to share with you, I really hope that they do. As for me, I might have a little. Your words really resonate with me. You have no idea!
I for one am a highly compassionate person. I gravitate even to the verbiage you used to describe how you feel. I feel as I "absorb" as well. For me, it has been a process to understand myself, why I can feel this way, and what to do about it. I heard about something called an "empath" some time ago. I was like what the what? Sounded a little science fictiony to me at first blush. 
I read a little, reflected, read a little more. Well, if an emapth exists, that might just be what I am.
Seems like I fit the bill for things I have read. I can walk into a room filled with people I don't even know and pick up on things most quickly. Things others don't see or feel. Home life for me, same thing. I can see it, feel it, gee, almost smell it all haha. I imagine you are more of a giver, less of a taker and feel the need to always make things right for others around you. Indeed, a noble cause, but maybe it's also in an effort to help yourself, calm your heart and your mind.
I have found productive ways to continue to help always. Kindness matters always. But over the course of time, it does ware on you. Do you feel as if this is almost driving you down to a nub? We have a self help guide on here about boundaries. I loved it. As for me, I read it and even translated some of that information into mental boundaries. I guess if a neighbor keeps coming into your yard and doing things to your property, it would be easy to ask them to stop. If they don't stop, maybe you have to build a fence.
In my mind, I sometimes have to build an emotional/mental fence. I feel it coming, I see in my minds eye the fence being erected and know this is a boundary, I'm feeling this way, and keep focusing on the fence built around my pretty little patch of gree grass. I'm still able to help, I'm still there, front and center. It helps to me shut some of it down, focus on the fence and keep moving in a productive, pragmatic and logical manner to get the job done. I still operate in a loving manner. I am someone that loves strong and cares deeply for others. Once I have helped, once everyone is calm and taken care of, this is my time to step away, and decompress, sit quietly and just let some of it go. This helps me to continue on day after day helping, caring and loving others. Whatever you are dealing with, helping with, also think that this too shall pass. Hold strong, continue to love but this is their time. Let them have their space and their time, because I know in your heart of hearts, this is what you were put on this earth to do.
Once it is your turn, walk away. Decompress, sit still, do something constructive, something that doesn't involve you having to plug in, in an emotional way. Maybe laundry, dishes, paperwork, etc.
I have no idea if this is helpful at all. I almost feel a wee bit silly describing these things, but it just works for me.
P.S. My mental fence is beautiful. It's a white picket fence. When I see it, the sun is shining, no one is near my fence, not even me
@SparkyGizmo
This was a great response, and I truly understand the need to build mental fences for protection. I used to do that, but somehow forgot to care for and protect myself. I'm so busy worrying about everyone else that I have left myself out of being taken care of.
I'm going to work on my mental fence - maybe put a little cabin in the middle of it, too, to calmy sit and comfort myself and re-energize.
@thoughtfulmomma
I'm really glad you liked my response to your wonderful post!
I can understand how this happens. In the "busy ness" of the day, the need to "adult" and take care of all of the little ones, the ones that need you and can't do for themselves (pets included). Even the adults that rely on you and are really used to you doing everything for them (sound familiar?) Your sense of doing the right thing, protecting others, caring, making sure that everyone elses needs are met before your own. This is so easy to happen because unless everyone else is cared for, nothing seems right in your world. Sounds like at one time, you kind of had a really pretty fence. Sounds like it's got a bit of dry-rot, needs some boards replaced, a nice power wash, and a fresh paint job. And maybe a little cabin for you too! I heard there is something out there now days called a "she shed". Sounds nifty!
I think it's easy for others to say, oh well, put your fence back up, make it pretty again. But I imagine life has changed over time and maybe you just need some more tools, in your tool box, not only to fix the fence but to work on others, things, people, day to day activities, to delegate, teach the little ones to pitch in, help even in the smallest of ways but then they feel really proud of their accomplishments.
For the little ones, I like to call them life skills. Them just plugging in and being a part of a family, the smallest of tasks add up over time, teach them and make them feel great and productive.
Not saying this is going to fix it all.....but it's a good start. A thousand mile journey begins with the first step! big *hugs* for you my friend!