How do you deal with uncertainty in your life?

@corycat I'm sorry that you have been waiting so long for a reply. How have you been doing since you originally posted this?

The short answer to your question is that I don't handle uncertainty very well either. As frustrating as it is to hear sometimes the best advice is to take it one day at a time. Although I am not going through exactly the same struggles as you, I too have had a recent breakup due to my mental health, I too struggle to wait for important news and the my anxiety also is taking a toll on my health.

Starting with the breakup, after a separation it is easy to romanticize the relationship or the other person and it's easy to blame yourself for more than your fair share. It's important to recognize when we start self deprecating and put an end to that thought process. Instead we need to reframe those thoughts to something similar to "It's for the best. It doesn't feel like it yet but this is best for both of us".

When it comes to waiting for important news or dealing with uncertainty in general, I think it's important to distract yourself. It's not healthy to ruminate so often about what you did or what is coming. We can't do anything until it happens so all we can do is wait. We'll deal with it after. I like to use different tasks to distract myself (playing strategy games so I am forced to think about my next move rather than think about what is bothering me, checking things off my to do list to keep my body busy while I wait, or journaling so I can "transfer" the thoughts from inside my head to the paper in front of me I always feel better once I write those feelings down)

For anxiety, I have been practicing meditations and breaathing exercises to calm myself. There are countless exercises that can be done to lower anxiety but I found these work the best for me. If you want to talk about other strategies, I don't mind sharing. Each person has a different preferred method to calm themselves.

Lastly, despite not have experience with the medication you prescribed, I wanted to mention that you should be able to share your fears with your doctors. If you feel like this medication might cause more harm than good, discuss those fears with the prescribing doctor and hopefully the two of you can come to a consensus when it comes to choosing an alternative. Yes, doctors are knowledgeble about the field but you know yourself. Finding the right medication shouldn't be all your decision or all the doctor's decision.

@corycat

DISCLAIMER:

1) I may or may not be using unhealthy ways to deal with it, act accordingly.

2) I probably don't have the exact same problem as you. For instance, ive never seeked professional help or taken drugs for anxiety. Maybe It's about time, but... ...

Background info and my ideas on this matter

> I guess it's only natural that we get nervous about uncertianty, because since before any of us existed, uncertianty was where all the L's came from. Or think about it this way: in certianty, you either know where the danger is and how to act; or you know there is no danger. But in uncertianty, neither of those statements apply.. Thus, your feeling is valid. And important, or at least, formerly. It's probably somewhat linked to a hyperactive survival instinct, but I'm no expert on this myself...

> Note that a lot of things, and by that I mean, like almost everything is out of your control. Uncertianty is inevitable. I mean, you can try to keep to the same old reliable things for your whole life, but that's just boring and a terrible way to live.

> I get nervous about uncertianty. Like for example when I'm on a bus and I'm going to school and it's close to the time I have to show up at school, I start thinking: can I show up on time? what's gonna happen if im late? what time do i get there? will my teachers think im unreliable? etc

"How do you deal with uncertianty in your life?"

> I have 2 tactics:

>> Avoid the trigger. Anxious about being late? Plan your schedule accordingly. Repeat for everything. In general, act cautiously. Make certianty wherever you go.

>> Accept what you can and cannot do. I quote the alcoholics anonymous prayer here, though the sentiment is shared by a lot of people from jews to buddhists and even a roman emperor:

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference."

yeah, you might not be religious, and neither am I, but being able to identify and accept what is out of control is important, or at least, useful to me in dealing with nervousness due to uncertianty. I tell myself something along these lines: "This is in the hands of fate, and I can do nothing about it. The outcome is certain, you just don't know it yet. Stop wasting mental energy on this."

I have no courage at times myself...

Some people have put me in a state of anxiety since I was born. I consider myself trained to be this way.

I am 59 now and I want to have a nice life so even when things are bad, I force myself to do something fun. It may be brief, but I did it. At the end, I would like to say I had a nice life so I force myself to do some fun stuff even if I am not in any mood for it.

There was an artist at a small coffee shop that made a print that went something like this.. Life isn't about waiting for the bad times to pass, but rather being able to dance in the rain.....I am trying my best to dance.