I Can't Change Yesterday
One of the parts of meditation is taking a moment to sit with your feelings. To not run away from that anxious or sad or fearful or happy feeling. To sit there and address it while not letting it take you over.
For me, right now I'm sitting with the anxious feeling of things that have already passed that I want to change, but can't. So, some things happened yesterday that didn't happen to me, and weren't about me, yet still affect me.
Yesterday happened. And while it was good for everyone else, it wasn't for me, because I'm looking at things from my perspective, and because it's different from others, I think it's "wrong" or "bad."
And so, I'm sitting with these feelings. Anxiousness. Guilt. (why??) Shame. (why??)
It's kind of like this. Everyone goes to a party. All the people in the room are having a great time, and they're drinking too much and goofing off and being crazy. I am that person who won't be doing that. Maybe I'm boring, maybe I don't want to get out of control. Who knows. Issues.
The next day everyone else feels great. They're happy because they had a great time. And I'm sitting there feeling all of these negative feelings because of what happened. How they shouldn't have, and how it reflects on me.
I'm so weird. Or maybe I'm horribly judgemental.
So anyway, I'm sitting with this today. Trying to understand my feelings and still not let them take over me and ruin the today I'm trying to have.
@thoughtfulmomma
sorry you are sitting with anxious feelings but you are doing a great job. the best thing is to talk or journal your thoughts then move on to something you enjoy.
@thoughtfulmomma
I understand what you are talking about ... I
used to do that too but the thing is we cannot go back we cannot have a do-over...
i used to get mad at those who could let go so easy like "oh well" but i have come to see the only person fretting about what could have gone better etc is me.... and i was letting the review this or that STEAL my right NOW.....
let go of the past .... yesterday is gone..... each day is a new start some days it goes well others not so much.... trying to live in the past IMO is one of the biggest factors in anxiety and mental health issues
@thoughtfulmomma oh hello momma. :) I m so glad that you are sharing your thoughts. meditation is the best thing in the world for me, so I know exactly what you are writing about - or maybe not.. :) you seem like a very genuine person with very complex thoughts and even more, colorful mind that never sleeps and is always thinking about something.
Take care of yourself and know that every idea or thought is just passing by... thought are like waves... you can catch them bout you also can only looking at them and enjoy the view or let it go. ok? :) take care.
