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I get it from my mom. She is relentless and will bring her grudges to her grave. Im the same exact way. Im still so hurt by a lot of things that have happened in my life.
Best friend betrayal, loves turning to someone else for satisfaction, losing a relationship with my now estranged brother, being diagnosed with a disease at age 15, watching the love between my parents fall apart. It makes you question all good things in life, any happy moment that you experience.. because is anything really as great as they seem?
I know what gives me anxiety. Where it stems from and what can trigger it, my symptoms and how long they usually last. My question is, how can I let them go? When can I start living my life again without having brain telling me that something HAS to be wrong? Ive recently started to find some outlets that let me forget about them for the time being, but then the music stops, the workout end, the meditation is over. And my brain begins to cycle again.
I dont want to keep trying to push my anxiety to the side for the time being, I want to let it go completely. I know if I can just make peace with the past and forgive people who have hurt me, I can move on. But where do I even start?
Hi, I see that you have a lot of grudges that like your mom will take to the grade. Id feel those grudges too if I had so many people hurt me and let me down. Having a best friend betray you would lose all trust you had in them, not to mention loves turning to someone else, feeling estranged from your brother would hurt even more as they are supposed to be the support you need then seeing how things turned out in your family. I guess you also would feel a lot of resentment too.
It sounds like you know what triggers and causes your anxiety. You just really want to let go of these grudges or that something might go wrong. It would be easy to feel that way when so many people have let you down. And youve tried many things to help you forget but you cant not even with the music, the workout or meditation your brain starts the cycle.
Accepting how you feel and coming to the stage of saying hmm what can I do is a start even though it can be hard to know where to start. Usually what comes with a grudge is anger so you could focus on it, perhaps this article might help https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/inviting-monkey-tea/201503/why-we-hold-grudges-and-how-let-them-go something might stand out to you. It was talking about changing to seeing yourself as the victim but something else that these events dont always define you. It talks about how grudges dont make us feel better or dont give us the feeling we are looking for. It was talking about to let go you could lean more to learning to love yourself and self-care rather than forgiveness. I guess more about you rather the person who wronged you.This are some thoughts. Hopefully it gets you thinking. Feel free to message back here or send me a 1 on 1 message.
@purpleturtle422
@purpleturtle422
I found that the saying "time heals" can apply, but with deeply traumatic stuff, even if you "let it go" you may have other problems that stem from those things that manifest in different ways.
The only way to really forgive people who hurt you is to just try and sympathize with them. It's hard to sympathize with someone you consider an enemy, but know that they are also human as well. It won't be easy, but it's possible. I try this method yet I still fall into habits of antagonizing even people I claim to love and hold dear to my heart.