I just want my overthinking to stop
I'm sorry if this post doesnt make sense, english is my second language, thanks in advance for understanding :)
I'm a person who doesn' t know how to stay silent and when I think (this is usually anxiety) that someone is acting different i will try to bring up that topic
We have now two cases:
First one is I talk with that person but then later I feel guilty that I started that discussion because now I bother them and they will connect me with negative thoughts and it will bottle up one by one until they realize what they hate about me and start to hate me overall. Then i start overthinking how i made them feel bad and what they think about me now
Second one is that is that i try to stay silent and let it go, but then I start to think that maybe I am the reason that they are acting that way or maybe they just tolerate me and feel obligated to talk with me or 100 other scenarios where each is worse than the last one. So when I cant take it anymore i go to first option and start overthinking proces all over again
I just want my overthinking to stop, because in the long run i am aware that it will ruin relationship with a most patient and caring guy I met or my friendships so if anybody has any advice it would help me so much
I think that it is great that you recognize a pattern in you behavior. I am sure you can overcome this. I overthink things all the time and I think a lot of people do. To try and break the habit of negative thinking, maybe try changing the thoughts when they happen. Instead of thinking that they "connect me with negative thoughts" consider that maybe they "contact me with positive thoughts". Maybe tell yourself "I know better than to believe these thoughts". After all many people like attention from others. It's hard to do but try not to assume things that you don't have clear evidence for. If you find yourself overthinking, just say "oh I am just overthinking, the reality of the situation is I don't know what they really think and I don't want to assume". And then gently move on to other activities. I hope that is helpful in some way. You are not alone at all. Wishing you much happiness ahead.
Thank you so much for the advice, I'll try to change my point of view and maybe work a bit on my self confidence
I wish you all the best with life ahead!
@toughPal8260 I think it's good that you know what your maladaptive behaviors are to begin with. That way, you can have a goal to correct them to live a better life.
You might be living a self-fulfilling prophecy. You think people aren't going to like you. Because of that, you behave in ways that make them not like you by asking them about it. This is like pulling up a flower to see if the roots are growing.
You can create another self-fulfilling prophecy that governs your life in a way you like better. If you believe people's initial opinions of you are good (quite likely) or even neutral, if you stand open to the possibility of meaningful connection and act accordingly, relationships and friendships will come easier to you.