Im Scared

Everyday I take my medication to keep anxiety down so it dont manifest in panic attack. But every day I cant control my emotions, sometime I feel motivated and then mostly I feel scared of everything. I always check my pulse, Im scare of pain and death, even I know someday it will happen. Doctor said im hypertension.

Its been three months and i still feel dizzy, and few times I try sleep, I feel i have no breath and It make hard to get enough sleep because automatically Im scare.

I try to go out just take a walk few times. But to day after I came home, spontaneusly I have panic attack like im about having heart attack, im scared 😭, why this keep happening to me. But Alhamdulillah it just for a momment. I dont know what to do, my family dont want me to visit psychiatrist because we dont have enough money. And i dont have money either because this thing keep me crazy. I dont know what to do, my mother and my brother just get sick and my father just passed away, even in always scared of what gonna happen to me 24/7. I feel like im powerless, useless for myself and for people around me. What should i do...? I never smoke, i never drink alcohol, i tried eat vegies even when i dont like it, i tried to walk outside(and im not going to giveup). But Im scared beause its been months........ please give me advice how im supose to live my life, because its happen almost everyday everytime...and it get me frustrated.