Is this anxiety? Also, frienships problems-
Hm well, everytime I walk arround big spaces (like the cafeteria, ...) In school, alone, I like "feel" people staring at me. I don't know if they're really doing it, but I just get really stressed.. My heart beats fast and my stomach is, like.. Uh, well inconfortable, let's say. I hate it and I just want to be away from that. When I eat alone or walk alone, I feel like that.. --Is that anxiety, what I just said? Also, the next part isn't really about anxiety, but more about my friendship circle, or a part of it anyways-- I'm not always alone. I've got some "friends". One is a year older and the other a year younger. They have other friends. So, when they can (cus our schedules are mixed up), they eat with their friends. I feel like they're always judging me.. If I decide to wear my mask outside, they'll ask me why and do a strange face. If I say something, the older one will always try to correct me when she can. The younger one too, tho. Yesterday, the older wanted to compare my walk to the younger. That's an insecurity I have for being told by 2 different people I walk strange, even tho I don't have any disabilities.... She went in front of us as we walked and started analysing that. I stoped walking, saying I didn't want to be a test subject or whatever and they started arguing saying there was nothing wrong or mean in their intentions. Older girl also said a comment about her observations, like that I was walking a certain way and blabla.... They tried convincing me to agree to getting observed, but then I said I had been told already enough that I walk strangely and to please leave me alone. They looked at each other amused or just finding me real strange, I'm not sure. They weren't taking me seriously, anyways... I started walking away, wishing they weren't examining my walk. They followed and were saying stuff like they just wanted to see, or they never said I walked strangely. Oh- Um, sorry. I know I write a lot- I'm new, btw. Haha I do wonder if anyone'll actually read all this tho lol.
@bluefish003
Hi! I read it. I like to write a lot also. 🤗 It sounds like maybe you feel a little anxiousness and paranoia sometimes. These things happen to different degrees, it doesn't have to be serious or a label. Improving your confidence and sense of self-worth helps a lot, as you lose the fears of not being accepted/fitting in, fear of rejection, things like that.
Kids do strange things sometimes! Like your friend comparing people's walks. Everyone is different, no two people walk or behave or think exactly the same.
@VioletSpringGlade
Am Sorry that this has been happening to you, these 'Friends' do not seem like real 'Friends' to me. I once had a 'well meaning' Friend' like this, who was 'only joking' with me all the time. Teasing me and going on about my Hands, my Feet, my Body being Fat, I walk funny, you name it.
She was after all only trying to be helpful in pointing these things out. (Yea right, NOT).
I then began to develop Anxiety at the Age of 14, (had no idea what was happening to me at that time and day). This very first Anxiety attack happened when I was walking home from High School one day. I remember feeling very shaky and weird out of the blue, and then started feeling like everyone that was also walking Home were staring at me and my 'funny Walk'
So all those nasty little things this so called Friend liked to remind me of constantly began an endless scenario in my mind, and still to this day, (at the ripe old Age of 53) I can still hear her constant disapproval in my Mind.
These Girls are not your Friends by any means. Please do your best to avoid them and find new supportive Real Friends that you feel safe and accepted with.