I think I'm experiencing Derealization and don't know what to do
In the last month or so, I am feeling like a zombie most days, like I'm sleepwalking. My memory and my ability to focus on the things around me have dwindled significantly, because I feel so stuck inside my own mind. Most things don't feel real, and I tend to lose time. I know that some of it is due to the state of the world, even though I'm not outwardly stressing about it. I just feel so disconnected from the world around me. I am the queen of overthinking, and I'm worried that this road is crumbling away behind me and I won't recover from this mental prison I've created for myself. Any tips on how to wake myself up and bring me back to reality?
@deebear2020
I am so glad that you reached out to us here for guidance! By the sound of things that you are describing, it sounds like you are possibly experiencing some amount of derealization. It can be super easy for you to go right to that diagnosis, however, it is important to keep in mind that we are living during very extraordinary circumstances right now. I know, personally, a lot of people are experiencing heightened emotions, especially if they had a diagnosed condition before this. For example, people with anxiety are likely to experience increased anxiety during this time. It is important to remember to be kind to yourself during this time as well. Some things that can help you get more of a sense of reality are: going for a drive, not ever getting out of your car, but just getting out of your house to see other people in cars. You can also engage in facetime or a form of video chatting with your friends as this will help to bring a sense of normalcy back. I know it can feel like you are all alone because everyone has to be so secluded right now, but I promise that you are not alone and we will get through it together!
Please reach out to my PMs if you need to talk
Take care,
Jenn Marie
@JenniferC936 Thank you very much for your input! That is a good idea, getting out and taking my eyes away from screens for a while. I was experiencing this to some degree before the pandemic, but not nearly as intensely. I think my mind has gone into hibernation to protect itself from stress and from people. I will try that and report back to let you know if it helps!
@deebear2020
I am so glad to hear you found it helpful! Yes absolutely please let me know how it goes either here or you can PM me if you would like to as well!
Take care,
Jenn Marie
Hello!
i might be experiencing the same things, maybe we could talk about it to see if we're similar.
thing is, i think i've always felt that way, even before the virus, i just didnt care much because i wanted time to pass fast then. now i don't and i notice it more.
@nwaveo That's such a good point, that we're both probably just noticing it more because time feels like it's standing still now. I also wanted time to speed up a lot of the time, usually looking forward to things I had coming up, but now, there's only uncertainty ahead of us. Pair that with loneliness and we've got some real problems showing up. Can you tell me more about your situation?
@deebear2020 exactly. the way i feel it, you're looking at the whole room but not really paying attention. there are all those furnitures, sofa, couch, but when i stare at them, i don't feel like i'm really paying attention them, if that makes sense. my mind keeps unfocusing on it. and it sometimes feels like i'm not aware of the presence of the couch. when someone talks to me, i'll get 70% of what they're saying, i'll hear it all, but unfocused, and will probably forget about it 30mn or 1 hour later. i'll forget what the convo was about, or how it started. times passes fast because of it. is that what you feel too?
@nwaveo That is exactly how I feel, the only difference is that in conversation, I zone out completely at times. I can ask a simple yes/no question and zone out before they've answered me. That makes work difficult. But the part about sitting in your room and feeling like you're not really there is spot on. I look around and everything feels so foreign, in my own bedroom. Maybe this is what ADHD feels like?
@deebear2020 i'm glad i'm not alone. sometimes it feels like i need new glasses but i know it won't change anything. i don't think ADHD would fit me however, because it includes hyperactivity and i don't think i'm hyperactive, there is ADD too, which is the same as ADHD but without hyperactivity disorder. maybe that could be it too. one of these. do you feel hyperactive? it does make it hard to work sometimes. i remember back at that pizzeria job i had that i sometimes found myself thinking about others stuff WHILE making pizza. and zoning out. and now that i think about it, like you i sometimes found myself zoning out when people talk but not too often. but i don't know any way to help fix that, do you?
@nwaveo I didn't realize there was a difference, but no, I'm not hyperactive, so I meant ADD, sorry. I looked up tips for being a better listener but my memory won't retain the information long enough to practice those skills. I did actually find a website on derealization yesterday, and it is trying to sell you a book, but there are still tons of articles and videos on the subject that could help. Apparently it's a common side effect of marijuana use; I'm not sure if you partake, but it could be worth exploring and taking a break if you do. Let me know if anything on this website resonates with you. I know their list of 10 most common derealization symptoms was spot on for me. I personally am trying to stay off my phone more, because I know it only seems to stress me out these days. https://www.dpmanual.com/about/depersonalization-definition-what-is-it/
@deebear2020
no it's okay, you could have been! i didnt realize there were a difference until like 2 weeks ago either.
i don't! i can't imagine how i would feel if i did wow, if i already experience that without it. do you? thank you, i'll check it out and tell you. do you feel more focused when not using your phone? sometimes it feels like that a bit, maybe it could a good idea.
@deebear2020 i checked it and alot of these i can relate. not all but mostly, the ones about visions being weird, fuzzy, memory being crap, feeling out of it etc, if i find anything that helps against it i'll send it to you.
@nwaveo I just know that when I'm on my phone, I'm taking in all the depressing news, dealing with people that don't do much for my nerves, trying to remember the 100 things I was gonna do before something distracted me, etc. My brain always has a ton of tabs open, and my phone just makes it worse. I also feel like it makes me feel more lonely somehow. It definitely helps me to put it aside, but I don't feel like I can live without it either.
Do you have any hobbies you can get into? I think it helps to just do something you enjoy or you think you might enjoy. I personally love dancing, so I bought a disco light that syncs to the music and a black light for my bedroom to enhance the experience when I'm dancing around. I also love TV so I can be perfectly content spending my whole day watching Netflix.
If I'm being 100% real, I just feel like this quarantine is making me stare my life in the face, and I'm realizing that while I didn't feel too lonely before because I had an active social life, my life is lacking real, genuine human connection these days. And it hurts. But there's not much I can do outside of reaching out to strangers on the internet haha
@deebear2020 yeah i definitly understand. i don't understad either why, but my memory is so bad. i would talk to someone and forget the convo 5 minutes after it happened. i'm trying to remember important informations sometimes but it'll take weeks for them to really stick. i think it's a great idea to be honest. yet i don't feel like i could go on without it either. because i wouldnt be able to contact my family or friends.
i think dancing is good, it could help you relieve stress in a way, i do have some hobbies right now, i'm writing, painting and knitting with my mom. inreally need to get back to reading a book i've started too, maybe reading helps focus, i wonder.
and i get your problem, tho i don't feel as trapped in this confinement because i'm probably less social than you lol and moved here recently so my friends are all far away. i also don't go out much usually. have you tried meditation? i've seen some "in the moment" meditation who helps focus on your environment i think. that could helps?
@nwaveo Have you spoken to a psychiatrist or been to a therapist before? I was on antidepressants for a while, but my experience with them was not great. I know it's highly beneficial to others though, so I do encourage exploring that route. Just pay close attention to any side effects you may be experiencing, and I think it helps to do research on anything you take. Therapy was useful, but I was not able to attend many sessions before I was no longer able to afford it, and now my insurance is garbage.
Those are great hobbies, and I'm sure they can be very helpful to your mental health. I personally need to start journaling again. And with those kinds of skills, you could even start a little business selling your crafts! It would be fun and good for your wallet too! Some people find that having a little hustle is a great outlet, and you get to help others. I am not the creative type, sadly.
I haven't really given meditation a try because it's so difficult to shut my mind up. I keep meaning to try meditation and yoga, but I never get around to it, and I'm still working right now, so I don't have as much free time as most people these days. I will eventually give it a real try.
@deebear2020 no i haven't, i don't think i'm comfortable with it yet. i don't feel ready or i don't know, quite there. but thank you for the tips. it's a shame you couldn't go anymore because of that, have you tried the online one? they seem cheaper. depending on countries, i also know there are center where you can reach out to psychologist for free.
my mom and i have been thinking about it sometimes, because she's teaching me knitting, but we don't know how to start one and even try to be honest.
meditation definitly helps sometimes, depending on the intensity of your anxiety. sometimes it does, sometimes you're too anxious for it to help. but you'll definitly see if it works for you! you're still working? that must be difficult to be honest. may i ask in what field? i hope you're safe out there.
@nwaveo Of course, do it in your own time! The cheapest online therapy is $40/visit, which is still a lot, especially when they're recommending once a week visits. But I'm figuring things out!
Just reach out on social media showing them off and people will want to buy!
I work at a machine shop that makes parts for the oilfield so we're "essential" haha. It's a little stressful but I'll be okay! As will you!
@deebear2020
i understand! to be honest i can't afford them myself right now.
Thanks for the tip i'll keep that in mind
ah i get it! well as long as you're safe!
btw, i found this on quora the other day, thought it might interest you. someone asked the same question we asked ourselves and the comment under seemed helpful for tips on how to help fix it. https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-best-cure-for-depersonalization-derealization/answers/41303742?ch=10&share=909b77f8&srid=upAQRr
@nwaveo Those comments were very informative and helpful! Some of those tips I'd have never thought of. Great find! I hope they help us both!