It's been a year... I still haven't recovered.
As a result of a traumatic experience I developed an annoying OCD about contamination. I have been fighting it for over a year now, with the help of the therapist, internet resources and teachings of spiritual healers, but I still haven't done any progress. Because of this, I will be put on medication again. I was on medication before, but medication wasn't very effective, and so in the end I threw it away. I don't believe that it will help this time, but I won't argue with my therapist. However, I am slowly losing hope that I will stop being anxious one day. I think that I will have to live till the end with my anxiety. And I get anxious over the tinies, most stupid things, and this is so exhausting, it's draining my physical strength and mental abilities. I cannot focus on anything because the thoughts are always there in the back of my head. I swear I have tried everything that was there to try. I am slowly starting to hate myself and thinking about self harm because I cannot take my sick mind anymore.
Hi @Helba
I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I can see you've been using the forum/sub-community sections of 7 Cups obviously, but just wondered if you had tried out some of the other resources here. I'm guessing you are already familiar with the one-on-one chatting with listeners as it's the most well-known feature. But there are also chatrooms where one can discuss with others who confront similar issues. The other two sections of the site that may be of interest, if you feel like trying them out and haven't, are the following. There is one section of self-help Training Guides. Some of these have been quite helpful to me. I know there are some on anxiety and on OCD, so you might find something interesting in the guides, if you haven't gone through them yet. The other section is these short guided meditation recordings, all under 10 minutes, called Mindfulness Exercises.
I hope that you'll find supports here that will help you along your journey, and I wish you the best of luck!
@Helba
I'll second the recommendation of mindfulness exercises which is very easy with the audio that keeps reminding you what to focus on even if you get distracted repeatedly throughout. There's even mindful walking and eating exercises in there.
As for med the one I was on for the first time was placed at too high a dose to be bearable at first so with the approval of doctor I cut the dose in half and it worked far better for me and after that the side effects mostly disappeared (aside from sex drive which returns after a few months). It could just be your starting med wasn't at a useful dose or wasn't the right type for your system and there's a lot of different meds. I used to be afraid to start taking anything that would affect my brain but as I learned more about how they work and became less hesitant to keep trying which seems to be why a lot of people avoid seeking that route to begin with. Not a substitute for getting to the root of things but can be necessary for some to stop the overwhelming feelings from either keeping the person stuck or from falling deeper into worse depression before they are able to take steps to recover (for example unable to get out of bed with limbs feeling like lead and literally no energy to do anything...and some say if taken earlier can help prevent anxiety from turning into that bad of depression).
@Helba Its totally alright.. i can feel you, i am also suffering from social anxiety too, it has made my life worst. I am on a medication for more than 3 years and till now i didnt recovrred i dont know what to do.. How to even speak to people..its very embarasing for me like every time i think to talk to someone i think i am lacked self esteem nd confidence but this is life maybe but i am happy for people who care for me i am happy that i am apreciated, that i am loved.. And have a hope that one day i will recover and best me will come out of me ❤
@Helba
I am so sorry for the traumatic experience that you had to go through and I am even more sorry that it is haunting to this day as it resulted in you experiencing OCD. As someone who lives with OCD, I understand the struggles and I know it is not easy.
I am very happy, however, that you have been trying out different resources to see if they can help your anxieties of contamination. Even though you think they haven't helped, I assure you that to some degree they do help even if it is not observable directly. I encourage you to continue speaking with these healers, your therapist, and your psychiatrist. We at 7 cups are here to support you and a lot of us here actually live through OCD so we understand as well. As Sairita said, 7 cups offer different mindfulness exercises like meditation, there is also online therapists you can speak to, you can read Self-help guides on Anxiety and OCD or just simply talk to a listener. It helps just to always feel listened to and understood.
But most importantly, keep fighting and make sure people are fighting with you and gradually and eventually, you will feel like you are winning the battle.
Best wishes,
Prio.