I was in denial for so long about my anxiety, I'm not alone right?

@Rickyt90s

You are not alone -- and it's not unusual for people not to understand what you are going through unless they have been there themselves (or somewhat similar situation at least).

Sometimes when you explain anxiety to people, you have to break it down to something simple they might have experienced and can draw the comparison between then offer them up something similar to what you experience. Like...

Imagine wearing your itchiest sweater on the hottest day of the year and you can't take it off. You're itching like mad, scratching, wiggling, writhing, and just miserable AND you are sweating like a pig and that's making where you scratched sting and the fibres cling to you and you just keep riggling, scratching, writhing, and feeling upset because you chose to wear the sweater and you could take care of it if you just had the time and a change of clothes. You realize what is the cause - the sweater, the heat, the itching and that leads to be uncomfortable.

Now imagine another scenario - a restaurant with people chatting, dishes clanking, light music playing, a pleasant meal before you with friends, soft lighting and you starting feeling antsy and uncertain about what's going on around you. Next, imagine that the music seems to be getting louder and people are just getting louder and louder and seem like they are screaming at each other to conversate. You don't know why you're heart is pounding, your palms are sweating, there's a feeling in the pit of your stomach that feels like it wants to explode and your wiggling in your chair because you are cognitive of the fact you were just having an enjoyable meal with people you've known for years but for some unknown reason you begin to feel like someone or something is about to pounce you from nowhere and you just want to get up and run away to somewhere quieter and safer even if that means shutting everyone out and sitting in a dark room behind locked doors. There's no reason why - it just is.

People who can't fathom anxiety --- sometimes need a comparison drawn for them like above.

You might consider joining the Mindfulness Community (https://www.7cups.com/home/mindfulness/) too. Lots of great topics and tips about checking in with yourself and addressing how your feeling and why. You'll find some Mindfulness Execises under Path too... along with some Self-Help Guides that offer some great information and coping tips too.

Use the forums to connect with others -- it's a great way to meet similar people in the "same boat" or at least on the "same stream". Browse Listeners under Chat ... they've been helpful when dealing with active panic attacks for me --- feel free to check out several Listeners until you find one that you are comfortable with. (You don't always click with the first or second.)

You'll find some good tips that might help along your path -- like the muscle scan (great for recognizing the tension in your body and you can do it anywhere at anytime one you are comfortable with it) and the breathing exercises (guided breathing to help control the breathing and sometimes helps with awareness of how you are feeling that can be adapted to anytime, anywhere too).

Journaling can be helpful -- there's a tool for that here too (click on your icon on the desktop to find it, I'm not sure about the app) or you can keep it on your smart device or a good old fashioned notebook. Sometimes making notes of your panic attack - what you were doing, who you were with, weather, food you've eaten, time of day, and what you were discussing or thinking at the time can help discern patterns and possible triggers.

Thanks for sharing your story with us here at 7cups and I hope you'll stay with us and benefit from everything here.