Learning how to initiate conversations
I’ve found out quite awhile ago that I have lots of trouble initiating almost anything. Conversations, offers to hang out, etc… I guess I’ve always been afraid that I’d be seen as annoying if I did it enough, or that I’ll end up catching someone on a bad day and they’ll take it out on me for bothering them.
I’ve been trying to teach myself that people actually like it whenever I reach out and talk to them. If they like me, and they think I’m a great person to talk to, then me messaging them first and being interested in them makes them feel good, and it can even make their day. But it’s weird trying to process that, for some reason.
I don’t really know what to make of it. The idea of initiation has just never been in my little world at all, but it makes a huge difference if I do include it. But that fear of any of my actions/intentions not being perceived well is just crippling, and it sucks. Feels like I’m damned if I do, damned if I don’t. But I guess I’ll just have to keep working on it.
Thanks for reading my late night rambling.
oops i think i meant taking initiative LOL initiation seems a bit different than what I was trying to say.
@Gingie7268
Hi Gingie!
Thank you so much for sharing what you've been experiencing. First, good for you for realizing you may have some trouble initiating conversations, offers to hang out, etc., and that you want to make a change. Being aware of how you're feeling and that you want it to change is the first step towards progress on your own wellness journey.
Second, I understand the feeling of being afraid to initiate. Sometimes, I really want to reach out to someone and talk to them, but I stop myself because I get too anxious that the conversation may not go right. It can be frustrating, especially when you really want to reach out, but that crippling feeling stops you.
I want you to know that 7 Cups is a place where you can speak openly and comfortably about what you're going through, and that I or any other listener is here to provide you with one-on-one support if you ever need a place to share what's on your mind. We're here for you and I'm so happy you're a part of our 7 Cups community!
Stay strong,
Gab
@Gingie7268
I have not been good at this either but have pushed myself to start conversations ect and found many people are in same shoes they just wait for the other person to speak up...
i think of all the connections i missed waiting for someone else to start when I CAN