Leaving home for university

I’m leaving my home in about three weeks, I’ve struggled with mental health issues most of my life and had to leave school in my last semester of high school but thankfully I graduated. Then I took a gap year to focus on my mental health and learn how to deal with my anxiety and depression better but it didn’t turn out the way I expected. I now feel more anxious than ever. I’m really scared of leaving and being all by myself in a city that I don’t know. I’m extremely dependent on other people but now I have to be independent and that’s also really scary for me. Everyone says that it’s scary at first but then you get used to it but I have a hard time making friends and keeping up with life in general. I really don’t want to go but I also think that this may be a good opportunity for me to become more independent but it’s still really scary for me. My anxiety started to affect me physically, I can’t eat, I feel sick and I didn’t even go yet. I can’t imagine how hard it’s going to be there. I don’t want to go and I don’t want to stay, I just want a break from life. I don’t want to feel this way anymore. I try to distract myself but I constantly find myself worrying about it. I don’t want to grow up, I can’t deal with this change, I don’t know how so many people do it. Please share your experiences if you went through similar things and tips if you have some. I’d really appreciate it. Thank you for reading.