Living with Social Phobia
I'm struggling with social anxiety for 3 years now and my current state is the worst I've ever been. It's so hard for me that I often find myself in the hopelessness thought that I probably won't have a normal life ever again. I feel like a prisoner in my own body. Its as if I have no control over me and my life. I also kind of gave up looking for therapy since the majority of therapists are occupied in my hometown. I luckily found someone who would practice meditation/hypnosis with me but so far I don't see any results. I also have no one that I can talk to in my life, I do have friends and family but I get the feeling that they won't listen to me when I talk about my problems. I also feel disappointed and hurt by my bestfriend, she gives me backhanded compliments, won't listen to me and has this constant need of comparison. I get from time to time the feeling as if she's envious of me, which hurts me incredible much. And, yes. I tried to speak with her about it but she would deny it and tell me that she loves me. Then why does she continue with that? I feel misunderstood at this point.
so yea, my social phobia is kicking my ass. I'm having a hard time getting out of my room, plus my bestfriend adds a shovel to my problems. I felt the need to let this all out.
@mxrsv I am so sorry that you have to experience this. I know it's hard to adapt to an environment and I know what it feels to be unheard. I'm so proud of you for taking the opportunity of being heard here in 7 Cups. You can always share your problems with the listeners here and the other members. I hope you'll find someone that will accept and understand every version of you. You'll get through this, maybe not now but soon.
Thank you for stepping by and showing support! 🤍
It means a lot to me, I didn't expect that to happen so reading this really made my day.
I hope you have a wonderful day, thanks again x
@mxrsv I'm sorry you are going through this. It sounds really frustrating to not have anyone there that you are comfortable with, just know that there is someone out there who will be willing to listen, you just might not have found them yet.
I have dealt with anxiety all my life, And it was the worst two years ago. I wont share all the details, but lets just say it got really, really bad. Mostly because of family problems, my parents *ignoring* me, my cousins constant fight of comparison, the pressure just tore me down and it still is. Not to mention I have this deafening fear of public speaking which did not make the school experience any more enjoyable.
But I think the one thing that keeps me going is the thought that there is always going to be something better, and that what you are going through right now is only setting you up for a greater success in the future. for example, the more presentations I fail now, the more proud everyone will be when I finally successfully complete one! Little thoughts like that can go a long way.
Anyway, I know that isn't exactly what you are struggling with, but Just know there will always be something better ahead (and keep in mind that even though you feel misunderstood in your immediate circle, there is always someone out there who is going through the same thing, so you're never completely alone :)
Well this is getting too long, but thank you for sharing. I hope you feel better soon <3
Sending you lots of hugs! Thank you for listening and sharing your experience with me, it feels good to finally meet someone who understands the struggles of it.
We expect our parents to be our first supporter system, as they have been the ones who put us into this world and who have been there at our first steps. So it can really hurt when they abandon and reject us, mostly when we don't even know the reason why. It's even worse when some family members take part in it, and make you feel even more worthless. It really takes strength to get through it, because cutting ties with your family members and forgiving them is not easy!
so you can definitely be proud of yourself, for being a incredible strong person with a big fighter spirit.
I also admire you for taking the strength to go to school.
I think I would've dropped out of school because of my fear of public speaking and interacting with others. I would constantly feel watched, and would've a hard time dealing with my panic attacks in public. I haven't had social anxiety around the time I went to school, it came later when I started working. Now, I'm having this small homeoffice job that's coming close to its end, and I have to start working in another project where I'll have to face working in a office with bunch of colleagues and take calls. A pure nightmare, I sometimes even consider quitting but I need the money so bad.
I'm also so fascinated by your power, how you still manage to keep a positive mindset between all the chaos. That's inspiring! Sometimes we forget to look forward because we're so stuck in our current situations, It's even hard to look back and actually see what we have accomplished. Current problems and struggles makes us forget the path that we are still going on.
Once again, Thank you!
thank you for your kind words and for listening!
I hope you have a wonderful day, stay strong 🤍
I really feel u. I had never felt so identified with a text. It's exactly how I feel I just didn't know how to explain it. I know what you're going through. You are very strong and I hope you get out of this soon send u hug
I'm glad that I could make you feel seen and understood. It also makes me happy to see someone who gets me. Thank you for the support! 🤍 You're strong too!
Please feel free to reach out to me if you need someone to talk to, you don't have to fight all of this alone.
Sending you lots of hugs back!
@mxrsv I know how you feel. You are not alone. I have social anxiety. I feel like everyone is judging me poorly. I feel like everyone thinks I am a loser or a bad person. It's is hard for me to imagine strangers' initial thoughts of me being positive.
I couldn't have put it better myself!
I also always feel as if everyone is secretly making fun of me or that I behave like a weirdo. My head keeps repeating several cringy moments that happened through the day. Embarrassment and guilt is a understatement.
thank you for stepping by and sharing your thoughts with me 🤍