Madness

I have suffered with all kinds of anxiety most of my life as a result of a very insidiously abusive childhood. Social anxiety has been a battle but honestly the worst is compulsive thinking. I get stuck on thoughts the worst of which have been a kind of a philosophical dilemma for me regarding an area of life. I know it really ties in with the nature of the abuse I experienced within my family. It wasn't sexual but very strange, hateful maltreatment largely orchestrated by my mother. She and my oldest brother were sadistic towards me. I've recently come to see this obsession as a kind of madness that has consumed and ruined my life. It's like really having been driven crazy when you spend hours, days, months and literally years thinking deeply about things and stuck in a rut. Reading some of Albert Ellis' writings have helped somewhat though as well as just my own thought progressions as time moves on.