My anxiety story..

I was raised by my mom and i attended a catholic school until I became 12 years old. All I ever knew was school, church and the driver that drove me to school, church and back home. I left the catholic school and attend a public high school. This was a huge change for me. At this time my father started to care less abt what happens with me and sent less money to help support me and my mom. He created a new life for himself in another country with another woman. And i didnt care.

So i had no driver this time, i stopped going to church and i had to walk from home to school. I had no idea i was struggling with anxiety. When i walked down the streets and got scared of the traffic and the other people walking around me, i thought everyone felt like this. So i didnt mention it to anyone. It's a few years later and, im still in high school, but nothing has changed. I was still scared to go to school, to face my teachers, to complete tasks, to make new friends, to speak out. Dispite all of this, i was very popular, i dated a popular guy and i guess he helped me through some tough times. But things were still bad, with my anxiety becoming more severe while i was growing older and people were expecting certain things from me that i believed was impossible to do. My grades dropped, my family situation worsened, i started self harming, my friends were the same, and i was still scared to tell even them but in a way we all knew that we were going through the same battle. At one point in high school, i thought, "i've had enough". So i threw away all my blades and got on my computer and searched all night about what i thought was wrong with me. I realised i have anxitey and sometimes depression. I thought i could fix it. I talked to a doctor, but things didnt go so well with that.....but thats a story for another time.i stopped cutting though

Then i lost a bunch of friends and thought i was at the peek of my death. I was ready to die and give up trying to fight the anxiety. then I finished high school and left in the country in hope that everything will change once i get away from my situation. But now i have to do over 2 more years in high school and im still struggling with anxiety. The only thing that keeps me going is that fact that i love myself and the i know that my anxiety does not define who i am and there are times that i feel like giving up but nothing is gonna stop me from getting to where i wanna be.

I will be a pyscologist/counselor one day :) I wanna help others who struggle with all types of mental sicknesses.