My thoughts are eating me alive.
(I hope someone reads this) (if not its ok too, I will just keep it up as a diary)
My life is so routine like, wake up, eat, walk my dog, walk a bit, go to the gym, sometimes use my bicicle. I used to swim, but I am not swimming at the moment, I think swimming makes my isolation even worst... instead of staying at home, I have my head underwater.
Oh I am so sick of always the same country and the same language, and the same people, and the same never ending nightmare repeating once and again and again and again and for ever and ever and ever.. I havent taken holidays in at least 2 years... and good holidays in like 5 years... I cant create a family like this never have explored really well the world, never have traveled really well, I wish my father would give me money to travel to places that I have never been before... I am so dam sick of always the same shitty places... holidays for my father are always the same crap... go to a beach to see girls in bikini... or go on holidays to a place where you see all the people you always see and keep working there.... that is more like a nightmare for me... he never stops working,.,,, never ever ever ever ever... he works at home, at the restaurant... on holidays... at the bathroom.... and then he is always with a shitty mood all year round.... and having to go to a beach to see girls in bikini.... i rather go to new places... but then again... i barely leave my house...
@okeyyyy off topic again...
Since my life is so freaking boring and everything looks like shit in my life, the only thing i do most of the time is escape to my thoughts all the time... to the point that i get paranoiac.
Maybe try new things? Learn a language, meet new friends, seek out things you might be interested in that you don’t know much about…
im sorry to hear about your issues with your father. maybe it would be best for you to seek support outside of your family?. i like to think that family isn’t always blood, it’s the people who are there for you no matter what.
maybe you can also make travel goals for yourself and save some money to do so.
@elise106 travel could sound nice, havent traveled in almost 10 years i think.
@okeyyy Hi. It sounds like you are tired and fed up of doing the same things all the time. In our post-pandemic world, this is a really common feeling, and many people have been hesitant to travel or try new things and new places. You are definitely not the only one feeling that way!
As far as your father, you could suggest new vacation ideas. Maybe he doesn't know that you don't enjoy the beach? He might also not realize that his workaholic attitude and bad mood affects the people around him. When I have something important to tell my parents, I like to write it down in a letter or an email. That way we don't have to speak face-to-face, and I can really think about my words before I share them.
@purplelady568 thanks, well i kinda have distance with my father both cause there are things i always avoid cause it brings conflict and he is rather problematic, and yes, you hit on the spot.
@okeyyyy
Hey okeyyyy, I can personally relate to you. Being in the same place for such a long time can be very frustrating. It makes us feel tired and lethargic too. However, it's incredible seeing you holding up! I'm so proud! And I just hope that your father starts to understand your feelings and helps you get out into the world : )
If you ever need to share something more, you can always reach out to me or any other listener here. We are all just a text away.
@Pudding1000 thanks so much :)
@okeyyyy sure thing