Need help with explaining anxiety to other people
So my parents are very nosy and they have to know everything I do ever. And ever since I opened up to them about my anxiety, they treat me different, and are even more nosy, and it is just making it worse. They dont really understand my anxiety and they always demand I give them I detailed description of why i feel a certain way when I DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND, and they demand that every feeling has something I can just explain to them. Any suggestions on how to talk to them about this or how to explain anxiety and stuff because I have tried and they just truly dont get it. Also any suggestions on nicely explaining that I need personal space an that Im old enough for a little more privacy, (Im 15) and that its ok if I dont want to them about everything immediately and that sometimes even I need time and space)
@optimisticWatermelon8990
For parents, often nosey = worried. When they're worried, they have a tendency to ask a ton of questions (especially over and over) trying to figure out - 1) you 2)the cause 3) a solution. They don't often realize how much pressure they're adding and shutting down just seems to makes it worse. Kind of reminds of tag team wrestling - one comes in, then tags the other and the first steps out why the second gives a go at you, and at some point they both come in the ring and just hit you with everything - not realizing how that doesn't help you but probably actually triggers you into fight or flight mode with a barrage of emotions hitting like folding chairs - but they do it because of the united front approach to conquer the issue at hand.
Check out this article from Hey Sigmund >> https://www.heysigmund.com/anxiety-in-teens/
It's written TO teens (not at them) AND it has some great points in it especially one point that says - sometimes anxiety drops in for no reason. It offers examples of what anxiety can look like and even explains some of why you feel that way. Plus the helpful hints section might help you with an outlet or coping mechanism - as well as explaining them and why rushing in and trying to help you decipher things isn't always the best solution. You might want to give them the link... maybe not, idk.
Maybe you can arm yourself with this information to better convey to them what is going on and help them understand that the racing, pounding heart and the extreme urge to runaway is part of the response your body has to something that doesn't have a defineable trigger.
(Some of the resources you can here too like mindfulness resources here at 7cups too that might help you too. Journaling tool might help and offer an outlet too)
Good luck explaining it to them. They aren't going to stop worrying... which means they aren't necessarily going to let up being nosey -- but maybe the information will make it a little less intrusive and open up some way to say to them - You aren't helping, I'll come to you when I feel I'm over this round of anxiety and let you know I'm okay. Then follow up with them to let them know leaving you alone is an okay thing to do - I don't know the trigger or I think 'X' might have contributed to this round - but thanks for giving me space to cope and recover. I know you want to help but sometimes the only way through this tsunami of emotion is to ride it out and swim for shore when its done.
Give them confidence in you to ride this out. Be willing to ask them for help when you need it. Tell them its okay to feel helpless when you're having an anxiety attack round - you know they're there and willing to help if you ask. Reassure them and communicate what you can when you can-- that's the only way parents seem to leave you alone.
I hope this helps some.
@diplomaticconfucious this is a great share! thank you
@calmOceanJoy
Thanks... I appreciate the feedback. I hope can help a few people out.
@diplomaticconfucious any time :)
@optimisticWatermelon8990
No wonder, anxiety is something extremly hard to explain!
After therapy I realised that anxiety is basically fear. Sometimes you're not even conscious about this, but is born from fear and can happen with conscious or subconscious reasons.
Social anxiety for example, is worries and fears around people.
So maybe you can tell them that is basically overwhelming worries that sometimes you're aware of, other times you get "triggered" by things.
I hope I helped a little.
Best of luck!
p.s- in the end, you don't really need to explain to people things though. Is people's job to get information and learn, not simply judge and be full of themselves expecting people to explain things to them. But it seems you're a very sweet person so I wish you the best and that this helps you have some inner peace :)
@optimisticWatermelon8990
Sorry you're having such difficult time but try not to be so hard on yourself because anxiety causes confsuion and trying to explain feelings to someone who never had that seems impossible but its not! Everyone at some point has been afraid so to start the converstion ask them one of their biggest fears. Tell them that you have the same reaction to situations and sometimes, your body reacts that way for no reason! It would also be good if you could commuincate what you need from them during those times. I'm glad that you are trying because education is key! :)