Nothing feels safe anymore
Hello, this is going to be my very first post and pretty much the reason I googled for online help communities. I've dealt with anxiety in the past and now it's coming back. Only this time the non-existing threat is very much existing and also a threat (but perhaps I just can't see things clearly?).
Since I'm not quite sure how much information is too much information on this site, I'm going to keep this pretty simple and vague.
I'm a university student, an orphan, pretty much no family or friends. And now it seems that I might be facing some massive financial or even possibly legal issues regarding my housing situation. All I can think about is how I'm going to get "caught", punished and pretty much doomed. I had no idea I was doing something wrong for years. I'm pretty much a goody two-shoes all of the time and doing something illegal makes me worry so much that now it's affecting my studies, sleep and relationships. I can't focus on anything and keep digging myself into a deeper hole by thinking over the same things over and over again. This might cost me all of my money and even more. It's not the type of problem I should be having at 21.
The whole situation is bringing out all of my fears regarding safety, which has been probably my biggest source of despair in the past. I've been actively avoiding any type of news media for about 4 years now, the word "war" itself is extremely scary to me. I know that all of it probably connects to me losing my mother while I was still a teen (never had a father or any siblings). And now this situation is extremely stressful because it threatens my home, probably the only place I've ever felt safe in. It feels like I have nowhere to run to, nowhere to hide. I just need someone else to sort this out for me. I've been doing everything by myself for years now and this might be my breaking point. I don't know if I can handle this. I don't want to handle this. Literally anything I do feels like I'm going to get somehow punished for.
@H0ps
Since I don't know exactly the issues you're having financially, I can't speak to it specifically, but I can give some general advice. Things can get fixed/solved. As an example, over the years that I have done my taxes, I have screwed them up a couple of times. And one time the IRS said I screwed something up and owed money when I didn't. Now, everyone always says how awful the IRS is, and it's all terrible and they'll take your money and throw you in jail. But that's a bunch of hooey.
Every time I've had a problem, I called the IRS, spoke with so many amazing and helpful people there, and got all my problems solved. That fear that I was going to lose so much was completely unjustified. There were people there to help me and make sure everything got fixed.
If you're having financial/housing issues, I would suggest starting with a lawyer. Now, you may not be able to afford one, but there are lots of services out there that will give you legal advice for free (pro bono). You just need to check in your area and hopefully someone can answer some of the questions you're struggling with and start you on a path to resolution.
@thoughtfulmomma Thank you, your advice is very helpful as now I'm remembering all the times I've had some issues and how people have always helped me. Though this time it feels like they might turn against me since it actually could be my fault. I don't even know how private my lawyer consultation would be and keep thinking that it will just end up getting me in more trouble. It's like I'm waiting for others to make the first move and catch me in a lie. Maybe I should just trust that people are only doing their jobs and whatever happens, then it happens. And I will deal with it then...
@H0ps
If you can't get help on the way as @thoughtfulmomma said, then there is always the chance to get free legal assistance by a lawyer or sometimes by a court. That depends on where you live. (In Germany, where I live, it's the court). But I would encourage you to google or to aks about it. I'm sure the local court or the local city administration (socialö service) could give you information about it. If you are a student, then there could also be a counselor at your university who could help you find the right person.
@MAE1701 Thank you, I actually have considered a consultation and in my country it would be free. It is scary to get involved with something like that but maybe I'll need it one day...
@H0ps
That's good to hear. I wish you all the best and all the strength you need. Feel free to come back and tell us what happened 
