Relationship breakup
Hello everyone!
I have just joined 7cups today.
I have issues with depression off and on since I was 16.
However my current issue is with anxiety after leaving my girlfriend of 4 years. On sunday I discovered that she had been cheating on me! She did the 'cried because I found out' one not 'cried because Im sorry for what I did'. She originally said she wanted us to fix our relationship but has messed me around most of the week with mixed messages, all the while I was devasted with finding out and couldnt sleep properly.
on Weds I got fed up and asked where we stood and she basically dumped me by text and said she would call me after a few days ' when we both have calmed down'. I have now got to the stage where Im not crying anymore and don't love her. I am also not angry at this guy anymore she has cheated with because it is afterall her who is at fault.
But I still have the annoying random 'what ifs' thoughts and repeated night time anxiety.
I have tried meditation, herbal teas, exercising, eating properly etc but it still happens in the night.
I have accepted its time to move on but cant get my head straight. Can anyone suggest anything? or do i have to just ride it out :-/
@AguycalledDan I've been in the same situation, I believe talking to someone helps a lot. Also thinking to yourself that you will get past this and you will be happy! Be positive with yourself, that's what helped me. I did avoid sad music or shows for a while too.
@Whattodonext
Thank you for your feedback. I really appreciate it.
I think you are probably right. If I talk to more people it may help me get through things :)
@AguycalledDan
It might help to put away anything that reminds you of her so you don't keep seeing it. Otherwise, there will be a constant reminder of your relationship. You may have to delete your texts and e-mails with her, or at least save them in a cloud software so you'll have them for future reference but they won't be there on your screen staring back at you every time you fire up your phone or PC.
@AbbyHarris1976
Hello Abby :)
Thanks for the advice. I have been systematically been getting rid of any and all reminders haha. Pictures of her through the shredder (wow that was satisfying hehe) videos/photos on phone gone, messages off phone but saved just in case she tries to cause trouble and all her crap in my house bagged and ready to go.
I havent spoken to her at all since the breakup and if she wants her stuff she can pick it up herself
@AguycalledDan I hate her but I am not going to be childish. When she finally comes im going to hand over her stuff and say bye. No drama, no games just go lol
I really appreciate advice from you guys :)
I moved to where I am now. been here for about 2 years.
I have spent to much time obsessing over my uni work and wasting time with her.
When I have caught up with my uni work I am going to start looking for new friends :) :) but not going to rush into a new relationship. Even though Im a relationship sort of guy lol.
It's time for me to get out there and do stuff :D
@AguycalledDan This sort of stuff is hard. I have been through the same situation with my ex bf and it was tough to get past it.
The one thing that helped me get through the roughest parts were seeing my friends and being at work where I was distraced and didn't have to think about him while I was there.
It wasn't a perfect solution but it helped. Do stuff that makes you feel balanced again. You're essentially going through the five stages of grief; acceptance will get here eventually.
Hopefully balance will return.
@AguycalledDan
Sorry to hear about what happened.
Do things that you like to do! Play some music, and get rid of things that remind you of her. Go out with your friends. Enjoy life! Eventually, maybe you'll find someone a whole lot better.
