Server with anxiety
Its really hard having anxiety and depression and be a server at a restaurant. Basically whenever someone tips me its validation that Im either good or bad. If they didnt leave a good tip or tip at all, I wonder what I did to make them not like me. I wonder why they dont care about me as a person enough to leave me money, knowing thats the money I use to support myself (and my family). I go back and think of everything I couldve done wrong.
During a meal as Im talking and responding to the guest, sometimes I will feel as though I messed up. You know, just saying something awkwardly, stuttering, or just anything awkward. And it sucks because I know that my personality and how much my tables like me directly correlates to how much money I bring home and how my daughter relies on me to make as much money as possible.
Or if I mess up. Like today, a table that comes in all the time ordered two meals the exact same. So I rang in one, but forgot to change the quantity to 2, so they had to wait a few minutes for the 2nd entree. They were fine and we were super slow, but I cant stop beating myself up over mistakes. Like, I have an entry level job that I cant even do right. I have peers who are nurses and literally cannot make a mistake, but I cant even do my dumb job right. Like, my job is to ring in orders and I failed undeniably.
But sometimes my head is so messed up, people will leave a dollar less than 20% and Ill be like why did they like me $1 less? Like its a message to me. It just seems like they know they are expected to tip 20% because they tipped to close to it, but they didnt want to give me it all for some reason.
Im not trying to come off as greedy. Im not even mad about the bad tippers. But just hate how i have to take it all so personally.
@whatthehell
The life of a server sucks. :) I know. I used to serve at a pretty decent restaurant years ago. It actually has changed how I tip now.
You have to work on not taking the tipping personally. I know, easier said than done. You work hard, you do great, you get nothing. There are a ton of different tippers out there:
"I Don't Tip" - You could be the World's Best Server, but there are people that don't believe in tipping, so you're getting nothing. Ever get one of these? Most have business cards they leave behind stating they don't believe in tipping.
"Leftover Change" - If the bill is $50.01 they leave $51 in cash and you get 99 cents. That's it.
"15% Exactly" - I don't care how great you are, you are getting exactly 15% and no more. I once worked a party of about 15-20 people. They actually figured out the math on the receipt and gave me exactly 15% down to the penny. This was before restaurants started charging a mandatory 20% on large parties. I busted my butt and got nothing for it.
"Used to be a Server" - They tip well because they know the struggle.
"Best Customers Ever" - These are the unicorns who tip amazingly well all the time. I had a couple that would come in weekly - they only wanted me to serve. I knew what they wanted to drink, so as soon as they were seated I was bringing them their drinks. Even if their bill was $40, they'd tip me $20 or more. I loved those people!
So, a lot of times, it's not a reflection of what kind of service you have given. I try to be a great tipper - I understand that poor food isn't the server's fault, and I don't punish for things that aren't under their control. But I have tipped poorly. Once. We were ignored completely by the server, so he got some loose change along with a note that explained exactly why we gave him the the bad tip.
I'm sure he read it and thought we were jerks, but - there it was.
Anyway, don't fret too much. You know you're doing a good job, and sometimes mistakes get made. You correct them and move on to the next table, and hope you find more unicorns than non tippers. :)
