Situation weighing on my mind, anxiety makes it hard to let go of
Hi everyone,
so I basically just need some help or reassurance or just to get this situation out of my brain. I’ve been feeling really off this whole week since hanging out with my boyfriend on Tuesday. We were hanging out and having some ~intimate~ time, all well and good, but then after wards when we were lying together he all of a sudden said “ I think we should have sex more, I think it too long in between times and I feel like I need to have sec more than that”. I truly believe that the sentiment behind this was totally positive, but the way he phrased it was really jarring for me and actually really hurt my feelings and made me feel like he was annoyed with me. As the week goes on I’ve realized that I think this is something I want to bring up, and just mention how in the future if he wants to bring something like that up that I would appreciate if it were phrased a little differently, cause the way it was said didn’t land great for me. I was going to do this on Saturday when our next plan to hang out is, but when something is weighing on my mind it is so hard for me to sit with those feelings for any length of time. I feel like this is something that would be much better brought up in person, but I am fighting the urge so hard right now not to text him about it this minute, because whenever something is making me anxious or upset I want to have it dealt with instantly. Please I would love some advice for how to soothe the need to have rwsolution right this second, how can I be calm waiting for the right time to bring this up when I next see him in person.
(also any advice for communicating when something didn’t land right with a partner, I would appreciate any words of wisdom there as well)
@politeFig8700
Hello, I am so glad you found your way to 7cups and that you are seeking help with your relationship issue. After reading your post, I can see that this incident has caused you to feel anxious and unsettled. I am sorry that this has happened to you. I often struggle with wanting to handle things right now, I am glad that you have chosen to wait, I know that is hard too. But now you can maybe try journaling this whole thing out. T could help with the anxiety and help you sort through what you are feeling and why you feel this way which will help you explain why you felt so dissatisfied with his reply. It sounds like he touched a nerve,
What was it about how he spoke his request that made you feel like you did? Do you feel like there was an underlying issue or remembrance that was touched? was it the tone in his voice? or really the way he worded what he said?
I am not trying to imply anything but rather trying to focus on the anxiety you are feeling. Think about it and I hope this will be helpful. Meantime take good care of your self and I hope you can get this worked out❤️
Thank you for the advice💕 I really like what you mentioned about journaling before hand so I can get really clear on how I feel and what I want to say before hand. I’m debating asking if I can come over for a tiny bit after work today, as a compromise between talking in person and having to wait till tomorrow (and also so I can get a hug lol). But thank you again for the message, that was really helpful