Social anxiety/anxiety
I've been dealing with anxiety, mainly social anxiety and mild depression for years which has had an effect on pretty much every aspect of my life. It's hard for me to build/sustain new relationships, I hardly ever believe in myself (that I can't do anything right), I am really emotionally sensitive and afraid of being around strangers. I can't even keep my job, because I find it difficult to get along with people. I mostly get very defensive every time I am falsely judged and criticised when others say I don't perform or meet their expectations. Even though I do the best I can and always see there is room for improvement. People at work thought I suffered from mental health issues. This I am unable to get over with as the impact of such experience is very strong. I was emotionally/physically abused as a child for 15 years and also as an adult - the abuser is my parent. They still live with me, and have had under one roof for 10 years. My concern is, they have become too dependent to go out and support themselves, they fear being lonely, and that they have no place to go either. I already tried finding them help and for them to get some advice, and it's a shame they have refused any help whatsoever. I would have done it long ago, moved somewhere, but I can't afford it at the moment. I actually reported this person to the police many times, though no results. There was not much they could have done they said. To my awareness that leaves me dealing with a problem alone. Most importantly, I need to be at peace/undisturbed for a chance to calm down and heal, trying to surround myself with people whom I can have faith in, those who will understand my situation and show they're willing to be supportive. In the meantime, I don't know what to do, I am out of options/solutions.
Hi there,
Sorry to hear about your situation. I know how hard it is for you.
I have gone through similar with work and still are going through it. I understand completely where your coming from. I know it's feels like everyone is judging your or making you look like some crazy person but I know what it can feel like having people in your life letting you down, bullying you, befriending you and betraying you and this sort of thing doesn't cure itself over night.
You have the right to feel like this. I am going through exact same. Maybe we can both help each other out. I don't know but please remember your not on your own. Have you tried counselling? It might be a good way to build a relationship with someone again and confide in that person anytime just on your own.
I know you have a problem with socialising like myself but have you considered taking up a hobby? At the moment I'm looking into this to help with my confidence. Do you enjoy anything in your spare time?
Family situations are hard and went you been through is unforgivable and I'm not here to tell you everything will be ok and things will change but right now you need us and I'm glad you found us and also someone you can confide in face to face.
At home it's all about getting on. Either if you like being there or don't we have to get along sometimes. Maybe if you take up something then the atmosphere might change but do your bit and be the bigger person. Life is too short. You don't get on with her but she is still family and for the sake of you both you have to get on but don't stop looking for places or other adventures. You are your own person and you deserve to be happy.
I wish you luck :)
@TreaureSeekers3
I have lots of hobbies but most I just don't enjoy anymore. To help me relax, I listen to a calming music, engage in some breathing exercices, that's about it. So far I have only thought of getting well. The state I am in doesn't allow me to do anything, or if I involve in a certain task, whether round the house or in a work place, I get things wrong others have been telling me, and I don't seem to be able to satisfy anyone's criteria. I get comments such as ''You are lazy, you lack motivation, your behaviour is unacceptable, if you had wanted to improve, you would have done something about it. I am not going out much, have been staying in as it's more convenient for me. I don't have to face many people at once - and I am very uncomfortable being around them anyway. Whenever I speak to a new person/a stranger I just shut down and my mind goes blank. I am struggling with getting my message across. I feel as if nobody understands or cares about me - what I am going through. They expect I will go out there and make a change for myself just like that, when it's been proven by my experiences that it's not that simple (the outcome stayed the same).
Right, about counceling, I have signed up for it online, quite recently. I had a chance to connect with a few people already who are in a similar situation, and they shared their struggles with me, I shared mine. I received some encouraging words - that helps a bit, at least for now. Regarding the events at home, I have been badly treated by my father, and no we cant seem to get along, even though we tried to find a common ground. We are a family, but it's not the type of company I would want to surround myself with on a regular basis if all they do is hurt my feelings, not accepting me for the person that I am, looking down on me all the time, when they themselves are imperfect. They don't see they make mistakes too and have flaws of their own. Why they think that I need to be treated like that - to teach me a lesson perhaps? As a matter of fact It's been going on for far too long. There is so much a human being is able to take. When it gets too much, you can crush, undeniably. I want to make sure that doesn't happen, I still have the slightest hope that something can be done eventually. Well, good thing is, I have a friend whom I trust, we've known each other for years. I am going to ask for support, see what they can do.
Listen, I really appreciate you got back to me and responded in such a timely manner. Thank you for your empathy and understanding. It means the world to me. Not everyone is willing to put themseves in another person's shoes.
I'm really sorry this is going on for you. I know can't put myself in your shoes and realise what it's like cuz I don't. I do feel the same way with some of the things you mentioned about work, people and your anxiety. All of that relates to me and what the problems are with my life. I lack confidence big time and I have tried to improve it but when you said you can't change over night like people say its very true. I'm just trying to do the best I can and I know you are too. No one can expect more.
Are you in touch with any support groups or mental health organisations at all? Do you have any think like that around. What about charities? Community groups or anywhere like centres what bring people together lime drop ins? Just with my experience I have found out very helpful. Sounds like having people online and your friend is helping and having other people might do the trick with helping and supporting you. Those who going through similar. What do you think? That helpful? I understand if it isn't. You have tried alot of things and you have started losing hope. I can understand. I just want you to know there are people out there to support you and you always got this place. Don't wanna see you give up on yourself. You have come far.
I'm sorry to hear about everything else going on at home. Home is a difficult situation to be in and we all don't have a perfect home live. It's how we make it what helps. Alot of people can relate to not getting on with parents. I know you have had the worse from it by far and I totally understand that there's only so much you can put up with. I know you can't do anything about your situation. If you got a job and had money coming in then maybe but it's easy said then done but there options. If you ever feel really unsafe there don't suffer in silence and get help whether that is. Not one should go through what your going through including you. Do you have other family? If not could you get a job or look at places to rent? Sorry I don't know what your circumstances are like.
I'm glad you are here and talking to us. You are a good person and don't let anyone say otherwise. Your never get judged here.
Hugs
@TreaureSeekers3
It's just a matter of time and my situation will change. I can do something about it. I know I have to get a job, but first thing first, I have my priorities and getting well is one of them. I am a good person I belive that too. Thank you for encouraging words.
I also suffer with social anxiety and depression. The anxiety is so bad d i quit my weekend job. And no going to the office is making me really stressed and i think i’ll have to quit my weekday job.
Sorry to hear how are you now ?
Do what u know u need to do for ur own peace mind not anyone else's.
