Suffering from relationship anxiety. Previously diagnosed with chronic anxiety disorder / sex addictions.

Hello

My names Jim I'm 35 and identify as male. I don't want to bore you with too many details so I'm going to try and put this as succinctly as possible.

Heres a little relevent history.

• Bullied in school
• Began suffering from anxiety at age 19, it was to do with travel and worried I'd lose control of my bladder.
• I unsuccessfully attempted counselling / CBT
• Ended a relationship and suffered from depression for several months
• Started and ended another relationship after I slept with an escort
• Became convinced I had HIV (I didn't) and had a major episodes of anxiety attacks
• Prescribed Citalopram (I still am)
• Entered another relationship, I got married and had a child.
• During my marriage I searched for escorts, I had several periods of anxiety attacks
• The company I worked for went into administration, more anxiety attacks
• Diagnosed with Chronic Anxiety Disorder and prescribed Valium
• Confessed to searching for escorts and using webcam sites, resulted in the break up of my marriage
• 6 months of private therapy for sex addiction.
• Entered a long distance relationship

This reads like a horror show and is extremely difficult to see listed. It doesn't show any of my wins or things to celebrate, which there were. But I think its worth taking into consideration when I talk about relationship anxiety.

The problem now is that I've become extremely dependent on girls to feel validated. I feel incredibly insecure. I can't stand being on my own. I am incredibly anxious I will get dumped again. It looks like I will self sabotage before that happens.

I have tried

Jogging / Excerise
Mindfulness / Breathing
Creative hobbies
CBT / Therapy (Sex Addiction focused)

I think talking therapy may help, I don't know. Perhaps working on myself and finding purpose. Anyone who has suffered the same, I could do with your words.

Thanks

Jim