The true fear of social anxiety
I realized what's so scary about social anxiety and lonelyness. It's not the fear that your alone that's most scary, if it was just that I could just get used to It. No the scary part is not knowing what it is to have friends,to be part of society, to be normal. You start questioning why you so desperately disirr that which has been denied to you, a connection to the rest of the world. It pains you to pursue these connections.You start doubting whether your sane or your going crazy. You start thinking you're different from everyone else and maybe your not worth being alive.
You see people pitty you and want to help you buts that not what you want you don't want there Damm pity what you what is to understand, to know because you're afraid. Afraid of being different afried that your losing your sanity. You don't want these superficial relationships. you want someone who can make you feel connected, like your not alone your not different and most of all that you have Worth. The problem is what I'm looking for does not exist. You can't depend on some one else to validate you worth that has to come from within I know this yet I can't seem to make the most important friend of all myself.
@zany130 Thanks for sharing with us your perspective on social anxiety. I don't think I ever thought of it this way and it's given me a lot to think about. Some parts of what you said don't seem to match my experience with social anxiety but those are just individual differences. I don't think any two people feel anxiety exactly the same way.
I hope that your anxiety has gotten better since you posted this and I hope you don't feel this way about people around you anymore.
@zany130 I have difficulty looking people in their eyes when I talk to them...
@zany130 I feel exactly same. I have had some experience of being totally normal for some duration, like a day or two. That was the time when I realized that I don't feel the world same way as others do. In that duration my fear was gone and I was able to give a superb presentation. I interacted with people. But it didn't last much. My fear was back and I was again disconnected from the world again. I would do anything to get that experience again. I don't know how I got that experience. I was on SSRI Sertraline that time, but strange fact is this happened 1 or 2 days after I stopped taking it. Sertraline gave me another problem, Post SSRI Sexual Dysfunction which can become permanent. Probably it has become permanent. Nothing helps. As if social anxiety was less that I happened to get this also. Now I have Anxiety and Anorgasmia, which has increased my anxiety. I am trying to change the way of my thinking, may be this will help me. I will never stop fighting it.