This Makes Me Sound Crazy
Okay, here goes. Here is one of the many things that is currently triggering my anxiety. My son (teenager) is going to a party on Friday. I'm not worried about where he's going - he's been there before, the kids are all generally good kids, the parents are good parents and I know there won't be any mischieveous teenage drinking, smoking and whatnot.
Here's what I'm worried about. They have a pool, and the kids are all going to swim for at least some of the party. My son isn't a strong swimmer. We haven't been swimming in something like three years, too. And I am just freaking out that something will happen to him at the pool. It's driving me nuts. He's never been swimming without us around (typically we've only gone when we're on vacation).
It just makes me sound crazy. But I'm not there to keep an eye on him or protect him. Yes, he's a teenager, and yes, he's out of my sight at school all day long. But the pool thing. What if they throw him in the deep end and he can't get his bearings? What if he panics? What if he needs help and no one pays attention.
It's completely on my mind...and not at all on his. He's just excited about the party. I hate that I can't just relax. I hate that there are these little nuggets of anixety that pop up and I can't do anything about it. And maybe I hate that I can't protect my son, and that my son doesn't need all the protection that I have provided all these years now.
Anyway, crazy thoughts I needed to get out of my head tonight.
@thoughtfulmomma This doesn't sound crazy. It's what we deal with fighting our anxiety. I was a single parent for 16 years before my sone went away to college. Now, I fight the same types of battles.
Two weeks ago it was a dread that he and his girlfriend broke up. Nothing I could point to set me off, just he didn't talk about her in out texts that day. It got worse and worse, to the point I decided a nap was the best thing since I couldn't function.
I wish I had solutions, but all I can say is that you are not alone.
@Sparky4545 I can't even begin to think about how I'll feel about college, and that's just a couple of years away. I don't know why this year turned into the hardest year to be a mom, but it has. Maybe I just finally became aware of all the struggles in high school, all the stress, and I'm beginning to realize, as a mom, I won't be able to make it all better all of the time.
@thoughtfulmomma
I'm not a parent but this sounds like a totally reasonable thing to worry about to me.
Is it maybe an option to low-key ask one of the parents to keep an eye on him during the swimming? And maybe also speak to your son about it, in a neutral manner? I know teenagers can be fickle, but I wouldn't really appreciated it if my mother would've spoken with me about these things
@Madaraismyspiritanimal I generally know he'll be fine, but my mind always goes to panic mode. We'll let him know that he should be careful - regardless of the situation, we always tell him this. But my brain wants to always go to the thing that could turn into something bad and make sure I'm upset about it until it passes. Frustrating!
@thoughtfulmomma
I recognise that, even if in a situation I can't come up with concrete bad outcomes, I'll still worry.
Great that you show your son you worry and care about him, even if you think he knows that, it's so important to just tell each other once in a while 🙂
Kind of spiraling/obsessing on this damn thing. Seriously, for something that will take up maybe an hour of time in real life, it has taken up all of my thought and I just hate it. I keep telling myself things like "in 33 hours, the party will be over and I can relax." Until then, I'll just have to wait it out, ride the anxiety and deal with what I have to deal with.
Tomorrow is going to be hell, but I've just got to get through this so I don't freak my son out. I want him to have a good time and I don't want him knowing how much I'm freaking out about this.
