Trying to socialize- not true to myself?

I was isolated and emotionally neglected as a kid, so I missed out alot on the finer tuned parts of making and keeping friends.

My family now worries about my loner tendencies, which admittedly is nice, but I can't help but feel angry at them for not helping me and my anxiety in my formative years. Now they seem concerned-but the message I get from them is I don't have friends because I'm not trying hard enough. But they are rarely involved in my life and barely know me-I talk to other classmates in college, go to church, and sometimes go to local cafes. They don't believe me when I say that my ability to connect with people is not the same as everyone else, and they kinda don't care to listen.

So I wanted to prove it to them somehow. I got some great books about social skills and did alot of research. I tried changing my behaviors to reach out to people more. But it didn't work out as well as I'd hoped. I'm friendly, but there is no spark to kerp me and others together. And I still was talked over and felt excluded like I did when I tried to socialize as a kid. It felt bad and forced. I felt like I wasn't myself.

I want to go back to who I was before this little experiment. I was a loner who only spoke when spoken to, and someone who was nice and trying to refine their listening skills.

Its too bad that I feel alone either way.

Am I wrong to try and give up and let my true self take over?