What my anxiety is focusing on at the moment.
I'm pretty anxious about alot of things at the moment but the one thing that my brain has laser focus on is my kinda almost friendship with this guy I talk to whenever I go in to his coffee shop.
At first it was wonderful friendly conversation that could have lasted for more than an hour, we talked about our interests and what was happening with our week and so on and I would leave the shop feeling light and happy and practically high.
We started chatting via social media and he suggested that I start playing this computer game the he likes and we also started talking about that as I asked him questions on how to play it.
But then he stops replying to my messages and when I see him in person after he says sorry for not replying because he was busy. Which I believe. But there's that ridiculous part of my brain that tell me all the negative things like he's not interested in me or I'm being annoying and obtrusive. And even when I've pointed this out to him (via text) and apologised he's said nothing via text and then talks to me in person as if I didn't text him like some mad women.
All I want is a straight answer from him, or for him to tell me to go away. It's just so hard. I keep going through this cycle of talking to him and feeling great, then messaging him, then feeling like crap and blocking him then seeing him in person and feeling happier again.
I don't know what to do. When I saw him today I barely talked to him and I was very meek in my manner of speaking (I am also kinda ill atm) But he was the first one to say good morning to me today and he said my name which he's never done. But today instead of feeling a rush of endorphins I felt like I was going to break down and cry; thankfully I didn't.
@TheChippedCup
Hello there Chipped! I'm sorry to hear that you've been anxious for a while over this friendship with this guy you talk to. When we first talk to someone it feels really special and taking in what you said you seemed to be really happy! Its so amazing that you started taking interests in what he likes to do and that's a great way to keep the conversation going. Although I can see why this is making you anxious that he doesn't reply to you the same way and rather greet you in person. It's obvious that we feel a part of us that tells us other things instead of accepting the statement given by that person.
"All I want is a straight answer from him, or for him to tell me to go away. It's just so hard. I keep going through this cycle of talking to him and feeling great, then messaging him, then feeling like crap and blocking him then seeing him in person and feeling happier again." I think you have mentioned it yourself what you really want to do, but don't know how. I would feel so terrified of telling my friend if this happened. Communication is key for any relationship, the other person cannot know until you tell them.
Would you want to ask him about what role should you play in this situation?
Also "I don't know what to do. When I saw him today I barely talked to him and I was very meek in my manner of speaking (I am also kinda ill atm) But he was the first one to say good morning to me today and he said my name which he's never done. But today instead of feeling a rush of endorphins I felt like I was going to break down and cry; thankfully I didn't." I am sorry to hear you're kinda ill atm, I hope you feel better soon ❤ So your presence doesn't go unnoticed and that's a good thing, right? He even took your name for a change, although we never really know why he possibly did that. Oh no, I am sorry you almost had a break down with that! It seems that you just want to face this situation and know for sure where you and he stand in this friendship and that's totally understandable. I am glad that you could hold back at that moment but maybe you don't want to hold back anymore in the first place? What do you feel about this?
Don't worry Chipped, I'm sure you and him would work out! 
