Social Anxiety can be harder than most people think - Getting help.
Hey guys :D I was doing some thinking and after seeing just how many people on here have some form of social anxiety it'd be nice to discuss something.
What is the hardest things about seeking out help for your social anxiety?
What I think when I ponder this question is the fact that although there will be so many places you can go to for help, and different things that can be done; there usually always is one big problem - most of it puts you in a social situation to do so. Think about it, if you have problems with being scared of spiders you wouldn't go ask a spider for help, you'd be too scared to try that, so why is it for most help with social anxiety we have to go and talk to people about it? D: It seems to be a big dilemma as you have to go through a lot of hardship and face your social anxiety and take it head on to be able to even try to get help most of the time, this just makes it way too hard to get help most of the time in my opinion, I'd be glad to hear everyone else's opinion on this :D
The best way to overcome the anxiety is to have someone you trust. However, being a person who has social phobia, it is very hard to trust anyone.
@Skoglandskap yup it can be hard, but when you do it can be an almost magical thing :p I hope you can find someone to trust <3
I have a hard time reaching out because I do not believe that what I say is kept confidential and I'm fearful of being ridiculed. So I just try to deal with things on my own now because I just do not trust people anymore.
@silvrbeatl aww yes that's definitely a good point, you have to really trsut the people you tell, what do you think of proffesionals since al ot of the time they have to keep things private :o hope you'll get some good support soon <3
For me, one of the hardest things about seeking help was, and still is, the shame.
I've been very ashamed of feeling and acting the way I do, and I blame myself for being 'wrong'. I feel like I'm always making a fool out of myself in public, and I can't seem to have a normal conversation with strangers, without them having to ask me to repeat myself or the tension becoming awkward. It's hard for me to talk with people in general, let alone about my feelings. This has been my main reason for not wanting to seek help, as speaking about your problems is one of the key parts in most therapy. I also feel like no one would understand me, if I did tell them about my feelings, which makes it even more difficult for me too get help.
However, I think that when you do seek help, and find a setting that is right for you, these feelings will subside. I'm definitely not saying that it's an easy decision - but it is one worth taking.
@crimson24 yup definitely it's always a hard battle inside yourself for so many different reasons including feeling bad about admitting you need or want help and other things like that D: and you gotta be open and honest to get proper support and that just makes it so much harder, but it's great you feel it's worth getting the help it definitely always is :D Wish you well :D <3
@KeananWillListen
Exactly! Thanks :)
@crimson24 no problem darling ^-^ <3
Confessing to myself that I actually had a problem
@Spiritcastle That is a hard step to take. congratulations
@Spiritcastle that's always a hard step isn't it :o for most things D: but as soon as you can accept something it will be so much easier to deal with ^-^ I hope you get the support you deserve <3
The hardest part is having to admit how vulnerable you feel.
The hardest part is when the people you open up to don't even take it seriously.
The hardest part is convincing yourself you're so silly, when you clearly can't controle how you feel
@LuPrin98 well darling they are all valid point D: just remember having problems like these doesn't make you silly ^-^ if it's something put upon you you can't control it's jsut misfortunate but doesn't mean anything bad about you yourself D: *huggles* it is so hard and I hope you can manage to get the support you deserve <3
the hardest things about getting help for anxiety are:
to admit to yourself that you have a weakness
and to have the courage to actually do something to become a better version of yourself.
@simplyJan well good points :P but I wouldn't call it necersarily a 'weakness' just a little extra thing that means you might need a tiny bit of support in life :p doesn't make you weak at all ^-^ but yes it needs lot of courage I hope you can muster that and get your support :D <3
No actually gets how you feel. You might ask someone a thousand times if they hate you, because your scared of losing them. There is nothing you can do social anxiety really. People always tell me oh come on all you have to do is just talk. But people have a fear of rejection. It's not simple. It's actually really hard, for those of you who don't know. You can't talk to your friend without your voice shaking. It's something I personally want to over come, but can't:
@Catsarecooliguess aww darling *hugs* it definitely is really hard and without the right support network can make things even ahrder, but there definitely are people out there that understand and can help you get a little better if you find them :D I hope you'll be able to get this support some day <3
@KeananWillListen
I agree 100% cause I also hear the same from other forums and other chats elsewhere who deal with similar problems. Many people get anxiety from just using the phone let alone making an appointment to speak in person and the initial assessments are usually a lot of talking for them to determine specifics about your situation. It does feel much better once that initial step is over with for the majority of people though.
@CoinFountain thank you, I pray others can be open about their problems as well. May no one judge those in suffering, for if it was them going through it they would want same compassion and respect.
@CoinFountain I'm glad you agree :D and yes definitely that first step is always the hardest because once you take it if you see things gonig alright it reasures you for every other step ^-^ good thinking :D <3
The hardest part for me... in seeking help, is that, I feel as though most folk think I am faking.... I have had some very good listeners here.... I have run into a couple that we just didn't get it on... But these chat rooms are clichish , and very brutal..... I was accused of something the other night... That I was innocent of. And the person that accused me was someone that I was trying to help... I get on and off feelings about this whole site... But I do have... if nothing else... My good listeners... I love them with my whole heart.... To me the thing about the chat rooms, is that it is so easy to forget why we are, ALL here... We get the gang mentality.... It has hurt more than it has helped!!!
@byrddog awww I'm sorry you feel that way abotu group support but yes it can get a bit rowly at times and that's why we have mods because not everyone will get along and when everyone is seeking support and needs it in different ways a lot of things can go haywire D: It's great you have listeners you can talk to :D I hope you'll still be able to get th support you seek over everything else <3
@KeananWillListen Iget what you are saying Keanan.. I really do... But I just don't get it when you are extending yourself to aid a fellow being ... then they turn on you in a matter of seconds... When all you did was ask a person about their user name.... Then you are attacked.... In front of every one and accused of some creepy things.... That is wrong... Nobody stood up for me.. and they saw the whole thing go down...... Ain't crying... But a bit put out.!
@byrddog yeah it can suck :/ just rememebr not everyone will get a long and some people can be I guess volatile at times, it's usually best to try and get over it because stuff happens, and you can find others who actuall appreciate you :p <3
@KeananWillListen Also it seems a mod is never around.. until you do not need them... They come in and stop a good thing... But when the crap is actually going down...... never seen one!
@byrddog well there is always the emergency form in the chatroom rules :o and if you know any who are free you could always pm them if it's important I guess :p <3
@KeananWillListen hal was in the room today... he..I am assuming... spent a lot of time there even when he and I asserted that all was good.. he stayed.... no prob... got a mod... prob... no mod... ever mods as I see it just want everything to be ok... but I think that they would duck if something was happening...... It is what I have seen.. I have gotten a lot of help here. I am not saying it is all bad.. I am saying a lot of mods are floating!
@byrddog just remember mods are human too :P they have lives and only volunteer their time to help :p It's great 7cups has helped you a lot though :D <3
@byrddog
Anxiety keeps me from participating much in group chats, but from what I've observed during support sessions is that they are very different each time even with a mod around, even in the same support room with people supposedly suffering the same problem. Sometimes everyone is very supportive, other times one person seems to take over the entire conversation, and sometimes one person is so hurt they ignore everyone else or might not recognize that others are trying to help (I sure know that feeling). And there is no way to tell before they start typing. Same goes with listeners, some are good, others do not get me at all.
You've apparently met both not so suitable listeners and some really good ones. I, on the other hand, haven't had a great listener in a while, so now I stick to the forums. My point is, everything here might not always work out, but that doesn't mean it's all bad. Stick to what works for you, like the listeners that understand you :)
@Soleena yes I do understand.
@Alex you said you didn't see it so here you go :p