Social Anxiety can be harder than most people think - Getting help.
Hey guys :D I was doing some thinking and after seeing just how many people on here have some form of social anxiety it'd be nice to discuss something.
What is the hardest things about seeking out help for your social anxiety?
What I think when I ponder this question is the fact that although there will be so many places you can go to for help, and different things that can be done; there usually always is one big problem - most of it puts you in a social situation to do so. Think about it, if you have problems with being scared of spiders you wouldn't go ask a spider for help, you'd be too scared to try that, so why is it for most help with social anxiety we have to go and talk to people about it? D: It seems to be a big dilemma as you have to go through a lot of hardship and face your social anxiety and take it head on to be able to even try to get help most of the time, this just makes it way too hard to get help most of the time in my opinion, I'd be glad to hear everyone else's opinion on this :D
My family does not think social anxiety is a big deal and just tells me to get out there and be more sociable. They think I'm just shy and don't understand how hard it is for me to do simple, everyday tasks such as order food or make phone calls.
@melx11 actually I know exactly how you feel because my family used to always say im just shy and can go and do things and stuff like that without knowing how it truly was for me, but if people don't know then let them know maybe :p not everyone understands actual social anxiety ^-^ <3
The hardest part is explaining yourself. How could you explain something you don't understand?
@easySugar321 Aww yeah it can be hard when your'e confused and don't know yourself D: but mabe try to use metaphors and compare it to things you do understand that's simmilar? Like I can say when I feel anxious it's like alarm bells are ringing off and won't stop and it creates mass panic and no one knows how to get it to stop and it can be done but you don't always know how :o I don't know I just made this up now but hope it helps :P Wish you to get the support you desrve <3
@KeananWillListen aweee thank you so much.
@easySugar321 hehe no problem darling :p <3
I can be seen as very confident but I actually get really anxious in social situations analyzing every action that I usually mess myself up and I laugh it off but inside I'm like why am I so awkward >_< it's hard enough talking in normal situations but moving past your anxiety to talk about something personal and important can feel impossible
@Crazy1300 yeah definitely :o is can be one of the hardest things D: and I know what you mean about not being able to know why you're being like that and tryna look at how everything is :p I hope you'll be able to actually get some good support soon ^-^ <3
I have social anxiety.
I wake up and am already looking forward to the end of the day.
I can't leave the house without fixing my face due to fear of being judged.
I wear long sleeve through all seasons and i fear someone will begin to question why.
I practise what i want to say in my mind first before opening my mouth.
I don't make eye contact with teachers nor attend school assembly's beause i'm scared i would get called down for an award or simply to answer a question.
And when it does happen, everything goes still but my hesrt, my heart is pounding is hard i feel like i would explode, my cheeks burn and i can see all there eyes on me.
I restrict myself from attending some events because that would require me to speak to other people.
I drink before going to a party or else i wouldn't show up at all.
I lose myself in my pretend worlds with pretend people and pretend happiness.
I have social anxety and it really sucks.
@immortalheart awww yeah darling that sounds like a lot to deail with :( I understand how hard that can be, hopefully you can learn to cope in a good way :D in ways that are better for you :/ but best of luck to you ^-^ <3
@immortalheart I hear you. I relate to so much of what you wrote.
One metaphor I use is 'invisible walls'. I don't know if you've ever played any video games, but in some games where the character can move freely in a 3d environment the edges of the map have invisible walls that designate where you can't move to. You just can't go past this barrier even though you can't see it. When I enter social situations, like a room full of people and I actually want to talk to them, I feel like there are those invisible walls blocking me, as if I'm not meant to be talking to people. F*** those walls.
@immortalheart I can relate to a lot of your feelings. Especially playing pretend in my head. It's so much easier to envision someone I wish I could be instead of actually trying in real life. But I have low self esteem so I'm not confident in myself. I have certain obsessions I can't get rid of because I've replaced reality with them. Does that make sense to anyone else?
@Lone2783 Yes it makes sense.
I've stayed up late or stayed in bed too long because i'm stuck in another world, where i'm happy and the world isn't so bad. The way i see it, those 'pretend' worlds are ways of cheating happiness, I'm not sure how to explain this but basically in my world i'm happy whereas in reality i'm not. I'm very strange.
The hardest thing for me is when the people you share to start to treat you differently.
@easySugar321 yes I know right, that's why I don't tell some people a lot of stuff to avoid that, but at least that means they are trying to care and did listen :/ even if the rest sucks, wish you the best ^-^ <3
@easySugar321 Almost everyone can relate to feeling self concious or doubtful at some point and they can use that as a reference point to understanding how social anxiety feels.
Being in my 30s, people get judgemental because at that age you 'shouldn't be shy'....so condescending. It would be so much easier to have a life where speaking to people in general doesn't feel like sandpaper scraping against my skin.
@Exist56
im glad im not alone
@easySugar321 People who don't understand your situation may treat you differently for a variety of reasons, of course it may make you feel uncomfortable, but please don't let it affect your trust on people, not eeryone will judge you or treat you differently in a negative way. Understand yourself and praise your courage for wanting to feel better :)
@easypeace
glad to hear
@easySugar321 I know right? But you dont need this kind of people in your life!
@easySugar321
or when people think that you are just antisocial
@easySugar321
Welcome! Im Lizzy and Im currently a trained listener and intern. I hope you find what you are looking for here in 7 Cups. Please feel free to message me whenever. I will usually reply within the day and if Im online, you should expect a reply straight away! I specialise in anxiety, panic attacks and loneliness mostly but you are always free to message me for other reasons!
https://www.7cups.com/15248074
@easySugar321
It is a delicate balance of not only who we tell but how much, yet using the support systems we have. The right friend will be with you no matter what. They can be hard to come by sometimes but when you have them, hold on to them. Good luck!
Hardiest thing for me was knowing that the people around me wouldn't understand but a stranger maybe could.
@intellectualHuman309 definitely reaching out further than your current circles may work :o Wish you the best of luck ^-^ <3
Immortal heart I am sorry to hear that you are going through this. I too had social anxiety, it would manifest as feelings of panic and fear. Wanting to get as far away from people as possible. Although some people do not understand it and may be unsympathetic, it is still good to talk about it. It took a few years, but I finally broke through, although now and then I still have my moments. Wishing you the best
Hey, @Amandisa16
It's rare to see someone say they've worked through their social anxiety. It's amazing to see that. It feels like one of more stigmatized afflictions so I don't see many posts from people who have healed from it.
Would you ever do a post on how your experience with social anxiety and how you worked through it/leanred to cope?
Hi @Exist56
I would not say that I am completely healed from it, but it is not as bad as it was before. I will definately write a post about my experience/battles with Social Anxiety. Hopefully it will bring some encouragement to others!
the hardest part is when you get worked up in tears once you speak and get yelled at. so you stop talking and close yourself up. or when people think you're faking so you feel alone..or just when no one understands and that also makes you feel alone as well.
@narwhalscastiel yes definitely it can be extremely hard and you can feel really isolated :o it can even feel like things are just always overwhelming and it sucks so bad, but even when you feel no one understands try to remember that there has to be some people out there who do ^-^ Wish you the best of luck in getting support :D <3
@narwhalscastiel
I hate that feeling :(
@narwhalscastiel that's the worst, I'd had a really bad dat today when my entire Spanish class yelled at me for getting it wrong. It ended up with me in tears and in my tutors office but no one knew they had done anything. Everyone just thinks we overreact but in reality it's just us trying to cope 😶
I am an introvert. I find it hard to talk to most people. I get insanely nervous when it is 1;1. I keep trying to figure out what to say, what to do next. It is even worse in therapy,I can only think of things to say for maybe a half hour, then I cant think of anything else. So we sit there like idiots for the remainder of the time.
Now that I have health issues, my memory is really bad. It makes me even more self conscious. I cant think of the right words to say. I look horrible with the weight gain . I have difficulty talking because I wear oxygen. Speaking is physically challenging to me. I must make sentences short .
I guess this is just the way I was built.
@beachlover5008 yup overthinking can really jsut creep up on you and be overwhelming and it would just really eat away at you wouldn't it :c no matter what happens to you with health issues just remember you're still an amazing person <3 even if things may be hard. We kinda just gotta play with the cards we're dealt :/ Wish you the best of luck <3
@beachlover5008 I am an introvert too and also struggle with memory issues. Its so difficult to deal with. I also struggle with embarassment because I'm 37, unemployed and living at home with my family. I just feel like a loser and feel like I don't really have much to contribute to conversations. My sentences come out very simplified too. I worry a lot about what other people think of me. I often feel like people try to get me to believe things that aren't true and that's another reason I don't really want to talk to them because it feels like they are messing with me. It would be great to get some mutual support on here from you since we struggle with a lot of the same things.
My worst thing in social anxiety is mostly dealing with family, they don't even try to understand me and when I try to be honest with them on how I feel at times ,they will turn on me and use it against me, ex: I have confessed that I don't like being in crowded places, well the person responded, oh you just want to sit home and do nothing, fine, WHATEVER. I felt so betrayed. So I mostly don't discuss my deepest feelings with family. I have gotten more understanding and kindness on 7 cups!
@jr50 awww yeah peoples miseducation and ignorance can really hurt :c you have to entrust people and hope they don't turn on you which can be so difficult. I wish you'll be able to find some good people that can support you ^-^ <3
@KeananWillListen. Thank you so much for your kind words , I only get them st 7 cups, bit I will take it!
@jr50 no problem darling :D it's good 7cups has been good to you ^-^ <3
@jr50 i know the feeling. My mother is an expert in 'tough love.' That's sad though that family cannot be trusted to be caring for your problems though.
@ForestFort. Yes, very sad, no wonder us people on 7 cups, feel like we do, if we can't trust family to be kind to us , then we are missing a piece of being emotionally healthy, sorry that you too have to feel that way too.