Social anxiety and helpless
I'm not sure how to write this, but I have to write something. The title says social anxiety, but to be honest Im not sure if I have social anxiety, and I am terrified of going to a doctor or psychologist to get answers.
I used to think that I was just more shy and introvert than most people. At high school I had to stop doing presentations after getting a full blackout in front of my class. It is many years ago now and hard to describe, but that was the last time I spoke in front of a crowd. I moved on with things and I am older now. I study at the university. For my first weeks I would go to school, look into the room where we were supposed to sit and study, see all the people sitting there, panick and go straight home again. I kept doing this day after day until I finally got some friends and managed to go to school every now and then, but now its getting worse again.
For the last 6 months I have barely attended school, I feel like I am failing all of my classes. Before this I dropped two exams spontaneously on the day, just staring into the wall at home, too afraid to go, and things are only getting worse. I am getting more and more terrified of people. I quit my job two days ago because it is service related, and I would feel horrible for days before going to work. Whenever there was a rush of people coming in I would panick. Now I am mostly just locked up in my room with no family around.
I want to seek help, but I am scared, I cant get myself to call to get an appointment. I am scared to go there and hear that nothing is wrong, that I just have to move on with my life and stop being weak. I don't think I can open up to a stranger and have this person place a judgement on me even though this person is a proffesional.
Does anyone have any tips on what to do on my own or how to take the step towards getting help? Has anyone been in a similar situation and managed to make it better for themselves? I really need an advice of some sort. I am feeling so lost and helpless.
With the strength of the feelings, their persistence, and how severely your symptoms are affecting your life @imaginativeSquare, there is absolutely NO WAY that wherever you seek help, someone will deny that you are experiencing a problem of great magnitude. Unless that person is an utter quack!
Believe in yourself, and your experiences. You feel there is something very wrong; and YOU are the best judge of YOU. So, also be your own best friend and advocate, and consider enlisting some professional assistance to help you get where you want to be in your life. It's a tremendously scary and difficult 1st step-- trust me, I get that!-- but just try to imagine how good life could feel for you if even a portion of your fear, pain, confusion, and anxiety was able to be resolved!
Go for it, honey! Grab life by the baws!!!!
Thank you so much for your answers!
It helps a lot to read your words of encouragement and strength, and to just see that I am not alone in feeling this way.
@imaginativeSquare2503 you are loved. Keep in touch and let us know how you are doing. 😙