Struggling with social anxiety, please help
hi everyone. I've been struggling with social anxiety for about three years now, but the last year has been the worst in my life and i thinks it's time for me to make a change. i have just one friend but lately she's acting really mean to me. i don't think she's doing this on purpose, but I'm not gonna lie I've been really bad multiple times because of her. school sucks, not really for the grades but for the classmates, as a matter of fact during high school I never made friends with anyone, except the girl I was talking about before. the thing that stresses me the most is team work. obviously, having no friends, no one ever chooses me and I always feel left on the sidelines, as if I were a burden for everyone. this thing made me sick for years, I closed myself more and more until I felt fear and anxiety every time I had to leave the house or go to a party (I always made excuses and didn't go). the situation for me has been really bad for years, but sometimes I was able to ignore my problems through art and music (only for a while, but for me it was enough), but in the last period, school has taken away from me time and strength to do all those things that used to make me feel a bit better and I found myself having to manage all the problems accumulated over the years without i way to escape. also, i thought that leaving my city and restart in another one for university was a good idea, but now even this scares me (what if i dont make friends? what if ill be alone again but this time even my family won't be with me?). the last week have been dramatic for me (i got so many exams, i hate my teachers and my classmates and the idea of wasting time and energy and sanity for this useless peace of paper of exam when i could just lay on bed like a dead body) and for the first time ever i wanted to hurt myself... i don't really know how to explain this but i just wanted to see blood and scars on my arm ("can't you see how hurt i am inside? then I'll just hurt me on the outside") and it was soo strong like a sexual desire but luckily i managed not to do it (I bruised myself instead of cutting and still have marks on me) but it made me realize how bad my situation is and how much i need a therapist. for a few months I have wanted to see a psychologist but my social anxiety stopped me from find the courage, so i downloaded this app and people here have helped me a lot listening to what i had to say, but now i need more. i need to go to a therapist but i swear im so scared of it and i cant also find any "anonymous group share" for people like me near me. i would love advices, especially from people who have similar problems (but not necessarily) and i would like to know how you managed to overcome the fear of the psychologist. sorry if it was a bit long or if a made mistakes writing (English is not my first language) and i hope you'll have a great day
Hey you're NOT a burden! I know how hard it's to face our problems, I'm always trying to ignore it or run away from it, but this is not a solution. Eventually things are going to get hard again and we'll have to deal with it. It's important to have resilience and to not give up on yourself. You're important and valid, and it's sad that people cannot see it, but you've got to trust yourself, okay? Don't let your fears take away your curiosity, your desires and your joy to live, because it doesn't matter how hard is your life now, you'll always have the chance to try and life goes on. You're a person, you have the right to be scared and the right to be happy! Unfortunately I cannot advise you about the psychologist, because I haven't managed it yet myself. But I'd suggest you to write about your thoughts and feelings like in a diary/journal... it could help you to organize your thoughts and maybe when you go to a psychotherapist you can separate things in topics so you know what you want to say? I don't know if that works. But anyway, I hope you can overcome your fear of the psychologist and come here to tells us how you did it :)
hey first of all thanks for your words... your support actually made me cry (tears of joy!) because I've never felt so understood from another person. after i wrote that i spoke with a listener here and he gave me an helpful advice that maybe can help you as well: there are some online sharing/listening groups for people with social anxiety and you can decide if you're ready to talk or just listen, to other people to see you or turn your camera off and so on... eventually you'll find the courage to open a bit more, to share in person your story and maybe you'll be ready enough to see a therapist. i always thought that therapy was the first step and felt so bad when i couldn't find the courage to make it, but in reality, for people with our anxiety, it's like the 100th step, that's why it is so hard for us to achieve that goal. now i realized that 7cups was my first step and i feel more confident and i have hope (i know ill face hard days again, but at least i know what i can do it and that small steps can really work). i really hope this could help you because you helped me so much today with your message (i thought that nobody would have read my message). if you want to talk I'm here, if not i hope you'll overcome all of your fears and live a wonderful life❤️
