Unwanted

I was seeing someone for sometime. Though we knew we did not have a future together, we decided to still give it a chance.

But I started falling in love with him. Having an abusive past, I find it extremely difficult to show my real emotions. So I never got the courage to tell him about my feelings.

The last two months were pretty difficult. He was distant and told me he was very busy everytime I tried to reach out to him.

Recently, he confessed that he had been seeing someone else and is head over heels in love with her. But the sad part is he made it very clear that what we had didn't amount to anything and he never wanted me.

While I am happy for him, I feel extremely unwanted. I feel like I am undeserving of love. He made me feel so small and insignificant, I feel like no one ever wants me. I try to give my best to people yet I am always left alone and broken.

All these have been giving me terrific anxiety and I feel physically sick. I cannot eat or sleep. I cannot even use my voice without it breaking, which I find embarrassing. I just want to get back to the life I was leading before he walked in. I cannot handle all this pain and anxiety anymore.