finding a therapist when you have crippling social anxiety?
Lately I've been toying with the idea that maybe I actually do need some outside help, possibly even a diagnosis. It just feels like trying to improve myself gets me forward one step and back a leap most of the time. At best I'm just more aware of all the things I can't do because of it.
The thing is it's already a huge feat for me to do anything like going somewhere new or making an appointment (even if it's not medical), and adding the 'therapist' thing into that makes it seem literally impossible. I also don't have a lot of money since I'm supporting myself so I'd have to talk to them about prices and sliding scales and everything, which is even WORSE.
I'm not even sure what I need, since I've never talked to a counselor or therapist or anything like that. Ever. My family essentially sees therapy and anything mental illness related as tabboo and hush-hush. I've only brought it up with my GP and she put me on antidepressants and called it a day.
I honestly don't know where to start or how to overcome social anxiety and fear of therapists to even get help. Has anybody else dealt with a situation like this? Does anybody have tips?
@wintercicada
I've had similar problems a while back I was so short on energy I just didn't think I had enough social energy (or spoons if you're aware of spoon theory) to get through to anyone. I had to be on SSRI for a while to get the energy back to a point of managing daily tasks even. Eventually I was able to find a more local GP who happened to work at a center that brings in therapists and has group seminars to teach people how to manage anxiety better. Shortly after going to some of those I found out about 7cups of tea and have been meditating with the guided mindfulness under the path menu. One of the people at the center also said something about a quiet place in the mind you can go while focusing on abdominal breathing to allow you to not be an in the middle of all the constant "noise" of thoughts the brain is always creating. This helped me minimize anxiety of all kinds. It requires daily practice and longer term commitment to keep at it just as with many things but very worth it. (Not a religious thing by any means.)
@CoinFountain Thank you. Yeah, I try to remember to do breathing and such when I start freaking out in places I ABSOLUTELY cannot visibly freak out at (work, etc). It doesn't necessarily fix it but I can usually pull it together enough not to totally flip out in front of my co-workers lol. Maybe I'll be able to learn more mindfullness stuff...I don't really see how it fixes the problem but it can't hurt.
@wintercicada
That's good you're able to use breathing exercise in stressful situations. Most of the guided mindfulness tracks on 7cups have added benefit of a deeper explanation than just sitting breathing on one's own. They are set to different lengths with some of them being short enough to do daily and the practice of it more frequently even when there's no immediate need helps reduce the tendency to become over anxious throughout the day so less instances that call for immediate emergency calm down such as panic attacks.
@wintercicada - I have had about 3 counselors since August 2016! One thing that helps me is to get the details out of the way and come up with a list of questions that will help you move through a short interview of finding a counselor. I also tend to gear myself up for a call and sort of act like my own best friend - like calling for a friend (which is easier for me to do than calling for myslf).
1) If you live with your parents and are 24 or under - you may still be on their insurance. You don't have to reveal to them that you are going to counseling as your privacy is protected under HIPPA regulations. Contact the number on your insurance card (parents or yours) and think of it as a step in the right direction. My insurance allows me to do a search for providers online.
2) In some cases, insurance providers will help you secure a counselor and set up the appointment for you. Especially if you don't feel like you can wait 10 days or more. Or in many cases, you can email a counselor - which is what I did with the last one!
3) Consider using 7 cups of tea therapists - who are online. It is a bit of money up front but you can talk to the therapist 1-2 a day if you like and it works out to about $5 a day.
@BriteDay78
I've been working on a list of questions actually! And sort of..a list of what I want from the experience? It's not as easy as I thought but maybe I'll have some guidelines.
I actually managed to make my very first consultation appointment with my very first counselor for this coming Tuesday, and I'm simultaneously completely terrified, dubious, and tentatively hopeful at the same time.
Unfortunately I don't have live with my parents and I'm uninsured, but I did manage to find a couple of counselors near me that work on a sliding scale for people who can't afford much. So we'll see how it goes.
@wintercicada That's great that you set up an appointment! Big step! And a great idea to think about what you want out of the experience. Very important to keep some goals in mind and share them with your counselor.
Good luck good luck and let us know how it goes!
I've been with many different therapists and I hate CBT and just talk therapy, it doesn't do anything. What kinds of weird unconventional therapies are there for social anxiety? I want to do something different because just paying someone to know what I'm thinking doesn't help at all and its boring. I actually want to do something to make my social anxiety better. If anyone knows of anything they've done or heard of please let me know.
@Nairhair95
Honestly I'm kind of doubtful about therapies for social anxiety, but I need to give it a shot. And maybe it'll help more than social anxiety idk \_(ツ)_/ can't hurt anything but my bank account...I think.
If I find something new/something that works for me I'll post it!
@wintercicada Ok please do, I'd love to hear what you get up to. I've done therapy for kind of social anxiety and also my childhood and other things and I just felt like I really didn't make the changes I wanted to. Let me know if you hear of anything or try something new that's helping you, Good luck :)
I'm really glad that you opened up about this! I'm happy to hear that you've taken that step to actually making the appointment!! That was the hardest part for me with needing to verify insurance coverage, making sure I was selecting the right therapist, needing to tell my life story, etc. So honestly, the fact that you've already done that or are on your way to doing that is incredible. Therapy can be subjective, just like medication: it works for some but may not work for others. So in knowing that, don't be discouraged if you hear stories or read posts about how therapy did nothing for someone, because it may have a different effect on you. The last therapist I saw was pretty cool; it was more than just sitting there and talking (awkward silences for sure lol) but sort of having someone there who was present and listened to my pain. Therapy might feel nervewracking at first, but it'll definitely get better as you get more comfortable. Hoping things work out for you!!!:)
