lone ranger life not working

So here's my dilemma. I really wanna help people & make an impact. That's what feels most fulfilling for me. But recently I've failed & ended up accidentally hurting myself & others whenever I tried. Making an impact requires starting an initiative, getting people on board, managing them ect & that's where I fail. I'm trying to see what I can do on my own w/o much success. Most things have been done already & I'm having trouble finding ways to impact a lotta people. I'm trying online stuff but still. I'm helping friends w/ stuff like this too & they're having similar issues. I still haven't had the guts to contact the companies on the list of inspiring companies I made. Each time I set out to do it I get this nice feed of discouraging memories. I decide to do it when I'm in a better mindset. (which still hasn't happened yet lol) I've realized the root cause of my trouble is 1: my hilariously lacking social skills make networking an epic fail 2: I can't manage people because I have trouble telling how people feel about me & I'm just not controlling or up in anyone's business & I really have no desire to make anyone do anything but that makes it hard to make stuff I want happen 3: I hav trouble telling who to trust & w/ what. I'd rather just not trust anyone but I'm getting so anxious w/ no one to trust. & the broken people reading doesn't help. Currently @ my fam's place for the summer. I love them but ik I don't wanna be here forever. In high school I was so motivated to get outta this small town I was willing to "do what it takes." In my mind it felt like I fudged a lotta things but I didn't actually lie. It just felt exaggerated. Ik everyone does it but I still feel bad. I feel I don't deserve my scholarships & the opportunities I have now & I'd feel way worse talking myself up more. Just that how I honestly feel about myself is ugh. I get really mixed signals from others. My parents sometimes point out my flaws until I wanna cry but ik deep down if I wanted to go to the moon @ age 3 they woulda let me. They came from outside the country & had to take every opportunity they could get. They've let me do tons of stuff they thought I wasn't ready for. It's pretty much a tradition. They drive me there saying how worried they are that I'm not ready. I'm not complaining. I've had a lot more freedom thanks to that. I know they'll always have my back. I just have no way to gage what I'm actually ready for. My friends always say go for it or what they'd do but um they don't have more experience than me. Most aren't even in the same field. Sure I ask profs for advice but they're advising the awesome perfectionist not the lost child I really am. I'm trying to find myself sure but I need to fix myself enough to provide for myself in a yr. I know I've had jobs in the past but that was before I scared myself sick w/ so many epic failures. I'm having trouble finding baby steps to develop those missing skills. I'm clearly not ready for this jump I keep tryna make & then falling flat on my face but then I can't find in-between steps. I miss when my parents could do all the talking for me. I wish they still could. Yet I wanna be independent & make my own life. I don't wanna be obligated to anyone or have my actions affect them. I don't wanna be a burden on my parents. I wanna live where I want & have the lifestyle I want. But I'm afraid of the outside world.