He is dealing with a toxic sitation
Hi:
I have a new friend who is also on the spectrum like I am and we have a lot in common. Anyway, he has been attending this a social group which is connected to ASAN. That said, he has explained that just about every time he attends anything related to this group, he gets criticized or scolded.
Two such examples include
1 He invited a couple of new friends to a couple of video game nights only to be told that they were too loud because they turned out to be poor sports as losing. The leader told him he better not bring anyone else to those video game nights or he will get banned from them. Rather, the leader said it would be better for any new people to attend the social dinners. All the while, comparing my friend to his other besties and why they are allowed while he is not. He also told my friend that he has a lack of empathy and tends to "Play the victim."
2. He said that he tried attending a dinner social the next night and said "Ew" when another friend of ours ate too much and vomited in the street. He said that the leader for mad at him just for that.
I feel that this group is toxic for the following reasons
1. They constantly criticize him
2. They are making him compete with other attendees
3. They aren't supportive of him
4. He walks on eggshells around them
5. They sound very manipulative
6. They are telling him he needs to change
He is torn about leaving this group because he has been rejected many times but the thing is, and some are in the group but others who he can do things with. I personally think he is better off without these social groups because they are way too superficial over at this group.
@Summershy - it's been a year since you shared this - what ended up happening? Is your friend still in the group, and if so, have things changed in a positive direction?
@Anomalia
He and I are still friends but that group which we were both a part of is very toxic. The president and the vice president of the ASAN chapter like being the center of attention all the time and I believe they are narcissists. The two of them and their band of flying monkeys sabotaged all of his opportunities to make friends in that group and with anyone who is an outer network. The leadership in this group is extremely controlling and hypocritical. This group also managed to burn bridges with another nice woman by doing mean things.
So, I want nothing to do with this group
@Summershy - Understandable - it definitely sounds like a toxic situation, and I'm glad you're not a part of it anymore. And I think your friend is lucky to have someone who clearly cares about him as much as you do, no matter what is going on in the group!
@Anomalia
He has other friends who have stood by him no matter what and all of them can't understand why this group is so hard on him
@Anomalia
I sent my friend lots of videos on narcissism so he can understand that the president and the vice president of this group and their characteristics.